I Love You To The Bones
by gingerbread dress
Summary: Reese falls into a dark world of anorexia...
1. Open Fire

**I Love You To The Bones  
****Chapter One**

* * *

"Okay, if we can score a three-pointer, we win," Reese said to his teammates.

They were huddled together in the middle of the court playing basketball during Gym class.

"But whose going to do it?" a sandy-blonde haired boy asked. They all turned to Reese.

"Don't worry, I got it," he put his hand in and they broke off to different positions on the court.

The sandy blonde-haired boy started dribbling around his opponents. The black and orange ball pounded against the slick, shiny wooden floor and back to his hands. His sneakers squeaked as he halted to a stop and passed it to Reese.

He caught it and stole a look at the clock. Only five seconds left. Things seemed to go in slow motion as he jumped and tossed the ball towards the hoop. Everyone whirled around to see if it would swoosh into the net. Instead, it bounced off the metal rim just as the timer buzzed.

"Yea! We won!" the other team jumped up and down, smacking high-fives. They laughed at Reese as they made their way to the locker rooms.

"Don't worry Reese, we'll get them next time," the sandy-blonde haired boy playfully punched his shoulder smiling, but Reese could tell he was disappointed. He sighed as he walked off to the locker room.

A black boy came up to him then. "Yo Reese, if you weighed less, you coulda totally jumped higher and sank that shot," he punched his shoulder as well, and then left.

Reese stood there, torn apart. He had never cared about his weight before, was he really too fat to play basketball? It was his favorite sport, and he had been hoping to make the team that fall. The bell rang for his next class, and the ball rolled across the floor and stopped at his feet. He kicked it away violently and stormed out of the Gym. He decided that from now on, he was dieting.

When he got home, he found Dewey and Malcolm sitting on the couch watching television. He tossed his bookbag on the floor and made his way into the kitchen, opening up the refrigerator. As he looked at all of it's contents: pudding, cheese, ham, jello, half of a cake, left-over pizza, and sodas; he remembered what had happened in Gym. He sighed and slammed the door shut.

"Move over," he snapped at his brothers, and sat on the end of the couch. They were watching Spongebob Squarepants. "I'm not watching this stupid show," he grabbed the remote and switched it over to MTV, Pimp My Ride was on.

"Well, we don't want to watch this stupid show," Malcolm snatched the remote back, and Spongebob filled the TV screen once more.

"Give it back," Reese reached for the remote, but Malcolm stuffed it under the pillows. "Haha," he snickered, and turned his eyes to the television.

Reese felt anger bubbling up inside him, and he was never able to control it. Seething, he lashed out and punched Malcolm hard in the chest.

"God Reese you psycho!" Malcolm clutched his heart, gasping for air.

"I'm telling Mom!" Dewey cried.

"Go ahead, I don't care," Reese decided to go for a run, maybe it would help shed off the fat.

He ran for an hour and a half. While his sneakers hammered against the sidewalk, he kept his eyes straight ahead and breathed hard. He was getting exhausted, and was just about to stop and lean against a tree when a voice echoed through his mind. It wasn't his own, and it was just above a whisper, a hiss. It told him to keep running, to keep running until he collapsed. Just a little bit further, and he would be perfect. He would be light as air, and the star of the basketball team.

Reese ran around his neighborhood five times, and then all the way back to his house. His dad was just pulling up into the driveway, home from work.

"Oh, hi son!" he smiled as he got out of his car. He shut the door with his backside and stopped to wait for Reese. But his smile faded into a frown as he saw how exhausted Reese was. "Somebody chasing you?" he asked.

"No…" Reese felt like he was dying. He couldn't even speak. "I…was," he gasped for air. "I was…just…exercising," everything around him was spinning.

"Ah, trying to get in shape for the ladies, huh?" Hal laughed. "Why don't we start going to the gym, you and me, and we'll," he stopped and did a macho pose. "Buff up,"

The gym. It was perfect, why hadn't he thought of that? He could go every Saturday morning, and work out until he couldn't move. He would loose so much weight, and be so light that he could fly up to the goal when he played basketball.

"Okay…dad," he tried to smile. "Sounds…good," he felt like Stevie.

"Come on, let's go get some dinner," Hal twirled around and danced like Michael Jackson into the house.

"Oh…great," Reese shook his head. His heart was writhing inside of his body, desperately trying to get oxygen. His head was throbbing, and he was drenched in sweat. His legs felt like jello as he followed his father inside.

"Reese, why did you punch Malcolm?" he was greeted by Lois, and Dewey was clinging to her leg.

Reese rolled his eyes. "I…didn't," he pushed past them.

"What have you been doing?" Lois raised her voice. "Why are you so exhausted? And you're dripping sweat over everything!" she cried.

"He was just exercising Lois, we're going to buff up," Hal nudged her. "Now, what did you make for dinner?" he rubbed his hands together.

Reese sat down at the table and watched his family shove food into their mouths. Lois had made a spicy chicken lasagna meal, mashed potatoes, and salad. Dewey's face and Malcolm's fingers were covered with sauce, and Hal had stains all over his napkin which he always stuck in his shirt. Reese felt sick.

"Something wrong honey?" Lois asked him.

"Um, I think I just want to have a salad," Reese pushed his plate aside and reached for his little bowl of salad.

"Okay," Lois said, eyeing him.

"So boys, how was school today?" Hal asked, taking a bite of chicken.

"Fine. I gave my speech about the Cold War and got an A," Malcolm shrugged his shoulders like it was nothing.

"I'm so proud of you!" Lois beamed.

"Me and Tony traded Pokemon cards and then the teacher tried to take them from us but Tony spat in her face and started laughing and then she picked him up by his ear and took him to the office. I got to keep all the cards," Dewey squeaked.

There was a silence.

"Well, that's nice son," Hal patted his arm.

Everyone turned to Reese, who kept his eyes down and slowly ate his salad.

Lois folded her hands in her lap. "Reese?" she asked. "What did you do today?"

"Played basketball in Gym," Reese sighed.

"Did you win?" Hal asked.

"Uh-huh,"

After dinner, Reese went to his room and collapsed on the bed. He lay there in the stillness for awhile, just starring through the darkness. His eyes were sewn closed with delicate seams and he drifted off to sleep, dreaming of winning the basketball game. Jumping high and scoring a three-pointer, and his teammates surrounding him with cheers of congratulation. And he was weightless.


	2. And I fall upon my knees for you Ana

**I Love You To The Bones  
Chapter Two**

Reese was walking with his brothers in the snow. They were deep in the woods, with naked, hollow trees surrounding them. He listened to their feet crunching the icy slush behind him, but his feet didn't make a sound.

"Reese!" Dewey suddenly cried.

He turned around.

"You didn't leave any footprints!" Dewey pointed at the blanket of white in front of him.

"I didn't…" Reese smiled. Color rushed to his pallid face. He hadn't spoiled the purity of the heavenly snow. It was still perfect, just like him.

Suddenly he felt as though he were falling, and everything faded away. He shut his eyes, and then opened them. He was in his room on the floor.

"Reese get up! You're going to miss the bus," his mother had pushed him out of the bed.

"Thanks mom," he groaned.

"Don't talk to me like that! You're lucky I woke you up. Without me you would be a bum on the street mister," Lois walked around the room, picking up all the dirty clothes.

Reese slowly got up and made his way into the bathroom. He locked the door, and his eyes landed on the black and white scale in the corner. As he took a deep breath, he stepped onto it, and the arrow pointed to '137'.

"I didn't loose any weight?" he thought, his spirit broken. "But all that running…and I only ate twice yesterday…"

"Reese! What are you doing in there!" Lois pounded on the door.

"I'm brushing my teeth!" Reese snapped back.

"Don't snap at me! You are grounded for the rest of the week," Lois howled through the wood.

Reese didn't care. It's not like he had any social plans, he really didn't have a good friend to hang out with, and everyone else was scared of him. But as he thought that, a pain stung him.

"Reese come on!" his mother banged on the door for the last time and then left.

He sighed as he went back to his room and threw on a black and green t-shirt and jeans. As he made his way out into the hallway, he picked up his bookbag and didn't bother to say goodbye to Lois or Hal. On the ride to school, he sat in the back and popped his headphones over his ears. Green Day started blaring and he stared out of the window, slightly rocking with the movements of the bus.

His first class was U.S. History. He walked in just as the bell rang and took his usual seat in the corner of the room.

"Oh, you're not tardy this morning," his teacher, Mr. Newson, smirked.

"No I'm not," Reese shot back.

"I have graded everyone's tests from last class," Mr. Newson held up a stack of papers. The first one was marked with a red 'C'. "And I think I should give Reese his paper first," he walked to Reese's desk and handed him a paper that was marked 'F'.

"But," Reese snatched the paper from him. "How could I have failed? I actually studied for this one," he looked over the test.

"You sure about that?" Mr. Newson laughed, and then handed out the rest of the graded tests.

Reese sank back into his chair, and looked his paper over and over. Malcolm had even helped him study, there was no way he could have failed.

"Hey Bobby, can I see your test?" he asked the boy sitting next to him.

"Yea, sure," Bobby handed over his 'B' paper.

Reese compared them, and found that he and Bobby had a lot of the same answers. The test was half multiple choice, and half short-answer. He handed Bobby his test back and raised his hand.

"What is it now, Reese?" Mr. Newson sighed.

"I just looked at Bobby's test and we had a lot of the same answers, but he got a B," Reese glared at the teacher.

"Well, he elaborated on his answers more than you did," he turned to start writing the day's assignment on the white board.

"But we had the same multiple-choice answers too," Reese stood up.

"Take your seat," Mr. Newson spat.

"You prick, I'm sure the office would love to hear about this," Reese narrowed his eyes.

"Ha, that's a detention. And why would they listen to a thick delinquent like you?" Mr. Newson laughed. "Now, sit down," he barked.

Reese didn't know that Mr. Newson had used the word 'thick' in a different way. He meant stupid, not fat. He sat back in his seat with downcast eyes, thinking he was huge. He wanted this feeling to go away, for all the fat and pain to disappear. Why hadn't he lost any weight? He ran for so long yesterday…and only had pancakes for breakfast and a salad for dinner.

The voice came back to him then. "Don't eat anything at all," it taunted.

Reese took out his notebook and started scribbling words on a blank page. When he was done, he looked at what he had written: And I fall upon my knees, and give myself to you, Ana.

"Who is Ana?" he wondered. But that's what he decided to call the voice in his head.


	3. I'll Teach You How Not To Need

**I Love You To The Bones  
Chapter Three**

Detention.

"You will sit there until the clock reads 4:30," Mr. Newson cocked his head.

Reese threw down his bookbag and fell into the desk. He looked at the clock, which showed '3:15'. Out in the hallway, everyone ran past, heading home or to their after school activities. He sighed and put his head down.

"You may not put your head down," Mr. Newson snapped.

Reese made a big show of picking his head back up and groaning. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in the chair. Looking around the room, he grew bored very fast. Mr. Newson had put up posters of war heroes, the presidents, the American flag, and a few writers.

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked effortlessly.

"You can do homework, or help me grade papers," Mr. Newson looked up from his desk.

"I'll do my homework," Reese rolled his eyes, and pulled out his notebook. It was the same notebook that he had written in that morning. He turned to the page and re-read the sentence over and over.

"What is that?" Mr. Newson was suddenly beside him.

"Nothing," Reese slammed his notebook shut.

Mr. Newson gave him a look. "Is Ana the girl that you have a crush on?" he grinned.

"What? No," Reese narrowed his eyes.

"Oh Ana, I give myself to you," Mr. Newson put his hand over his heart. "Ana! Ana!" he laughed.

"Shut up," Reese scowled at his teacher. He shot a look at the clock; it was only 3:22.

"Well, no girl would ever love you like that," Mr. Newson's lip curled. "You are too thick Reese, I can't even believe you actually wrote something like that," he turned and went back to his desk.

Ana was in the room.

"You're thick Reese," she giggled. "Really thick…look at all that fat,"

Reese felt all of his defenses crumbling.

"But I can help you…" she whispered.

"How?"

"Excuse me?" Mr. Newson asked. Ana was gone.

"Nothing," Reese said, and started working on his Chemistry homework.

Finally it was 4:30, and Reese rushed past Mr. Newson, who shouted something about behaving next class or it was detention for a week. He ran all the way home, which he was proud of because he must have burned at least 100 calories.

When he opened the door, his family was sitting there eating dinner.

"Why are you so late?" Lois squinted her eyes.

"I had detention," Reese sighed.

"Oh Christ Reese, what did you do now?" Lois rolled her head around on her neck.

"Nothing, I'm going to take a shower," Reese shrugged. He started to walk off but Hal stopped him.

"No son, you're going to sit down and have dinner with us," he smiled.

"I'm not hungry, I got a snack from the machine and ate it in detention," the lie just rolled right off of his tongue.

"But your mother made your favorite," Hal bopped his head happily.

Reese looked at the pot of fried chicken legs, which was accompanied with two smaller bowls of rice and green beans. "That's not my favorite," he scrunched up his nose.

"Reese, you're eating it, now sit down," Lois demanded.

"But I told you I'm not hungry," Reese shouted.

"Don't you dare shout at me!" Lois threw down her napkin. "I spent two hours cooking this and you are going to sit down and eat it!" she bellowed.

"I don't want your nasty cooking!" Reese cried.

Malcolm and Dewey dropped their forks.

"That's it, you are grounded!" Lois pointed her finger at him.

"You already grounded me this morning!" Reese laughed.

"Then you are grounded for life!" Lois raged.

"You can't ground me for life," Reese shot back.

"Just get out of my sight!" Lois sat back down, and kept her eyes on her plate.

"Fine!" Reese said, and went to his room. He slammed the door behind him, and leaned against it for awhile. He hadn't meant to cause that much trouble, but he would do anything to get away from eating.

After he had gone to bed, he dreamt of food. Starvation was itching and crawling against his bones, and it caused him to wake up at midnight with his stomach was growling; the pain of hunger stinging his insides. Without thinking, he got up and made his way into the kitchen, like he was sleepwalking. When he opened the refrigerator door, the light cascaded over the dark kitchen and he reached in to grab a cup of pudding.

He then made his way to the cabinet, opened a drawer, and took out a spoon. He tore off the silver cover and shoved the pudding into his mouth. In only a minute it was gone, he had devoured every last drop.

"You're weak," Ana hissed.

But then Reese remembered that it was Saturday, and that Hal was going to be taking him to the Gym later that morning. So he threw the pudding cup away and walked back to his room. He would burn every calorie he had just eaten at the Gym, and not stop working out until he collapsed. This weakness for food would soon be gone, his lips would be sewn up and no meal would pass through them.

"I'll teach you how not to need," Ana sang him to sleep.


	4. Sweat it Off

**I Love You To The Bones  
****Chapter Four**

"Morning son, ready to buff up?" Hal asked as Reese walked sleepily into the kitchen, peeking over the top of the Saturday morning newspaper. He was sitting at the table, with toast and eggs on a yellow plate and a cup of coffee in front of him.

Reese yawned as he sat down in front of his father. "Dad, what are you wearing?" he snorted.

Hal was decked out in a 70's style pair of satin blue shorts with a fat white stripe running up the sides, thick white knee-high socks, blue sneakers, and a white wife-beater tank. "Hey, if you want a good work-out, you gotta have the right style," he said coolly.

"Whatever," Reese rolled his eyes. He got up and poured himself a glass of water, just as Lois walked in.

"Reese, you're grounded. You're not going anywhere today," she glared at him.

"But mom! I need to go to the Gym!" Reese exploded.

"I don't think so. The way you acted last night, and the way you're acting now, no," Lois started making herself breakfast.

"Mom, that's so unfair! Dad said he would take me!" Reese was desperate. He thought that if he didn't go to the Gym, he would get fatter. It was killing him.

"Oh come on Lois, let the boy go to the Gym," Hal closed his newspaper.

Lois simply shook her head. "No,"

"But mom! I have to go!" Reese was on the verge of tears.

"No, you can stay home cleaning the house all day," Lois smiled. "That'll be your work-out,"

"Please mom,"

"No,"

Reese felt rage bubbling up inside him again. The anger was burning in his heart, scorching the calmness. He had to go to the Gym. He needed to sweat all the fat off. If he couldn't go, he would die.

"I hate you mom! You're such a stupid bitch!" he screamed.

After Lois had dropped her coffee and smacked him hard, Reese ran. He flew from the house and ran as fast as he could. He would get to the Gym. No one was going to stop him. He controlled this, not anyone else. All of the meat would soon be gone, and he would be flesh and bones. Everyone would bleed themselves dry for him.

When he reached the Gym, it was just opening. A tan, muscular man opened the door for him. As he stepped inside, he saw only four people there. A fat, middle-aged lady in a pink jumpsuit with poofy blonde hair; an old married couple; and a guy who looked to be about five years older than Reese. They were all on the bikes.

Reese made his way over to the weight-lifting section. He laid back on a silver and black machine, the leather seat was cold to the touch.

"Do you need a spotter?" the tan muscular man asked.

"No thanks, I'm okay," Reese took a deep breath and put his hands around the metal bar. It was cold as well, and sent chills through his skin and drummed against his bones. He then used all of his strength to lift the fifty-five pounds of weights.

He counted to ten, and then dropped it. He repeated that fifteen times, and then sat up. Another married couple had just arrived, but they were much younger. Reese saw that the bikes were free, so he walked over to those.

As he sat down on the one in the middle, Hal busted through the doors. "Oh great," Reese muttered. When Hal saw him, he quickly walked towards him; his face full of disappointed lines.

"I knew you'd be here," he said lowly.

"What do you want?" Reese started working-out on the bike at top speed.

"You had no right to talk to your mother like that," Hal raised his finger.

Reese pretended that he didn't hear him.

"Come on, we are leaving right now," Hal's face was turning bright red.

"No," Reese shouted over the buzzing of the machine.

"Reese, get off the bike right now," Hal started shaking.

"No way,"

"Fine!" Hal blew up. "You stay here. Stay as long as you want. You know what, why don't you just live here, because you're not welcome at home!" he turned and stormed out of the Gym. Everyone stared at Reese.

He clenched his teeth as tears glistened in his eyes. He started peddling faster and harder. He gripped the handlebars until his fingers turned crimson. When the timer beeped after thirty minutes, he collapsed and leaned back against the chair, breathing hard.

"Whoa, take it easy there buddy," the tan muscular man was getting worried.

"Get away from me," Reese snapped as he hopped off the bike. He went over to the treadmills.

After running for thirty minutes, he did the Ab-Lounge for twenty, and then repeated everything again four times. When he was drenched in sweat, he leaned over the water fountain for a good ten minutes, and then made his way to the door, his eyes half closed.

"Hey kid, do you have a ride home?" the tan muscular man approached him.

"No, I'm walking home," Reese breathed.

"Are you going to be okay?" the man asked.

"Leave me alone," Reese thrust himself through the doors and stumbled through the parking lot, his legs like a newborn's. He still had more fat to burn, and walking home would complete it.

He had made thirteen blocks when a car pulled up beside him. "Honk honk," someone laughed.

It was Craig.


	5. Private

**I Love You To The Bones  
****Chapter Five**

"Hey Reese, what brings you out here?" Craig put the car in park.

"Oh, hey Craig," Reese sighed. He was completely exhausted, and he was suffering from the sweat. He pulled his shirt off and rolled it up into a ball. "I was just at the Gym,"

"I can see that," Craig watched the drops of sweat rolling down Reese's perfectly curved back.

Reese didn't notice this. "Okay, see you," he said, and started walking.

"Hey, hey, wait up! I can drive you home. I am your neighbor you know," Craig laughed.

"No, that's okay. I'm fine with walking," Reese really wanted to burn off the extra fat.

"Oh come on, I insist," Craig grinned. He wasn't going to give up.

Reese threw up his hands. "Fine," he said, and slumped into the passenger seat.

"So," Craig said smoothly as he started driving.

"So what?" Reese groaned.

"You were working out at the Gym?" Craig asked.

"Yea, so," Reese looked out of the window.

"What did you do?"

"I don't know…lifted weights, ran on the treadmill, went on the bikes,"

Craig slowed down as they approached a red light. His eyes wondered over to the passenger's side and landed on Reese's body. They lingered on his chest for a moment, and then down to his stomach. He was growing warm in his pants.

"Hey! The light changed," Reese snapped.

"Oh, yea," Craig shook his head. Then he took a breath and made an illegal right turn.

"This isn't the right way!" Reese sat up.

"It's the way I take," Craig just smiled.

"Is it going to take long?" Reese just wanted to go home. He was so tired and his bed would feel so good against his skin right now.

"No," Craig turned on the radio and tapped his fingers to the beat of the oldie's song.

"Ugh, what is this crap?" Reese made a disgusted face.

"This my friend, is the real music," Craig bopped his head.

Reese rolled his eyes, wishing they could listen to Simple Plan or Fall Out Boy or something. He watched as they passed a gas station, a Wal-Mart, plenty of signs, and an abandoned house. "This is taking longer," he leaned his head on his hand.

"Don't worry," Craig flashed him a smile, and then took another sharp turn.

"Hey! You're going the wrong way!" Reese shouted. He turned around to look at the street leading to his home, slowly disappearing as Craig drove faster.

"Shut up, okay?" Craig pushed his glasses up on his nose.

"What are you doing?" Reese's eyes widened in fear.

Suddenly, Craig drove straight into the woods. He went deep into the heart of the wilderness, where no one could find them. Bugs flew around the car and the sunlight barely peeked through the thick branches of the tall emerald trees.

"What the hell is going on?" Reese's forehead wrinkled.

"Reese, do you think I'm," Craig sighed and took off his seatbelt. "Odd?"

"Yes," Reese snarled.

"Everyone seems to think that," Craig took off his glasses and rubbed his forehead.

"I don't care, just take me home!" Reese glared at him.

"Do you know that I've never been loved?"

"I can see why,"

"No one has ever loved me. Not even my parents,"

Reese started to feel bad for Craig. He and Malcolm had always made fun of him. They had egged his house and tripped him every chance they got. Maybe Craig just wanted someone to talk to. But all that sympathy for him quickly died as he felt a throbbing hand place itself on his crotch.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Reese screamed. He grabbed Craig's hand and twisted it back.

"Ouch," Craig winced. "Reese, please don't hurt me,"

"Let me out!" Reese tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. Only the driver's side could control the locks.

He turned and tried to reach the unlock button, but Craig moved his face towards Reese's. He pushed his sweaty, flubbery lips onto Reese's and tried to slip his tongue into his mouth, but Reese kept his teeth clenched. As he struggled to throw Craig off of him, Craig reached and grabbed his penis hard.

"Get the fuck off of me!" Reese cried. He hurled himself at Craig with all the strength left in him, and Craig flew back and banged his head against the window. He slumped over lifelessly. Reese quickly smashed the unlock button and scrambled out of the car.

He ran all the way home, anger and embarrassment torturing him. He couldn't cry, he wouldn't cry. But the pain of the reality that had just happened to him was too sharp, it cut too deep.

When he stormed into his house, everyone was in the kitchen eating dinner. They didn't even look up at him.

Reese rushed into his room and fell upon his bed. Tears poured out of him like rain and stained his pillowcase.

"That wouldn't have happened if you weren't so fat," Ana teased.

Reese swore to himself that he would never eat again.


	6. Beauty and the Beast

**I Love You To The Bones  
Chapter Six**

"Reese, get up," Lois was violently shaking her son.

"Mmm," Reese groaned tiredly.

"Get up and get dressed, now," Lois said very firmly, and then left.

Reese lay there for a few moments, and then quickly sprang up and ran into the bathroom. As he stepped on the scale, he closed his eyes, and then looked. Three pounds had vanished. He grinned and went back to his room.

He entered the kitchen five minutes later, wearing a baby blue t-shirt and jean shorts. The whole family was waiting silently.

"Okay, let's get going," Hal put on a fake smile. He clapped his hands and then headed out of the house.

"Where are we going?" Reese asked.

"Craig's taking us to breakfast," Malcolm followed his father.

"What?" Reese stopped dead in his tracks. He wasn't sure what he was more afraid of: food, or his molester. And now he had to handle both at the same time.

"It's a nice thing for him to do, now come on," Lois' face was grim.

"I don't want to go," Reese lowered his eyes.

"Reese, don't start this again," Lois massaged her forehead.

"Mom, I'm sorry about how I acted yesterday, but I really don't feel like going," Reese took a breath.

"Go outside, and get in the car, now," Lois held the front door open.

Reese stood there, his head heavy with anxiety. There was no way out of this, and he couldn't tell his mother the truth. She probably wouldn't believe him anyway, she would just think it was some kind of sick joke. He sighed and went outside into the gray morning. Craig was standing beside his SUV, grinning.

"Good morning Craig," Lois smiled, finally showing emotion.

"Hi Lois, hey everyone," Craig said this but was only looking at Reese, who kept his eyes on the emerald ground, wet with dew. He made sure to sit in the very back seat.

"Oh my god Craig, what happened to your window?" Lois' mouth dropped as she climbed into the passenger seat. She was oblivious to the fact that she was sitting right where her son had been molested the day before.

"Oh, someone thought it would be funny to throw a rock at it," Craig shrugged, and started up the car.

"Well, that's just awful," Lois put on her seatbelt and brushed back some of her bangs.

"Yea, it is isn't it?" as Craig turned around to pull out of the driveway, he kept his beady eyes on Reese.

Reese could feel Craig's perverted pupils burning through his skin, but he concentrated hard on Dewey's GameBoy. Hal and Malcolm were sitting in the middle seat, and they all rode to the Golden Corral in silence.

When they arrived, Craig held the door open for everyone. Reese tried desperately to walk past Malcolm so he wouldn't be the last one in, but failed. He shuddered as Craig let the door close and walked right behind him, his hot breath on his neck.

"Hi, welcome to the Golden Corral," the lady at the cashier beamed.

"Hello, we're going to have six buffets," Craig took out his wallet.

Reese watched him, completely disgusted. Those sweaty, red, stubby fingers grasping thirty-two dollars and twenty-seven cents. He couldn't believe Craig had the guts to do this after what had happened yesterday.

After spending fifteen minutes at the buffet, everyone gathered around a wooden rectangle table. Craig sat on one end, Malcolm on the other. Lois sat in between Craig and Hal, with Dewey across from her. Reese plopped down in front of Hal, his white plate consisting only of a blueberry muffin and eggs.

He looked around at everyone, shoving greasy foods into their mouths. To him, they were beasts. When they were hungry they grabbed whatever food they could find. And then they would scarf it down, leaving stains on their mouths and fingers. They let the food travel down their throats and into their stomachs, where it sat and added extra pounds of fat onto their bodies. Colors and sounds were nothing to them, they just cared about eating.

Reese was beauty. Starvation was fulfilling to him. When he was hungry, he turned his head from food. He chose to remain empty and pure, traveling light on his feet. He wouldn't eat all of those calories and add layers of fat to his perfect paper skin. All of the colors were so much brighter to him now, and the sounds so delightfully poignant…

"Reese, you haven't touched your breakfast," Lois' voice corrupted his thoughts.

"Oh, yea," he blinked.

Slowly, he plucked off a piece of his blueberry muffin and placed it in his mouth. He chewed, but never swallowed. He took his drink and pretended to take a sip, but really spat the muffin into it.

"Mmm, that's good," he smiled. He wanted to burst out laughing.

"I'm falling in love with your madness," Ana giggled.

Reese did this little trick with the rest of his food, and then went to get a 'refill'. When no one was looking, he dumped his Coke and chewed-up food into the trashcan and got water.

When he came back to the table, Dewey was sitting on Craig's lap, and they were both laughing.

"Dewey what are you doing?" Reese slammed his cup onto the table.

"Geez, I was telling Craig a joke I heard at school," Dewey frowned at him.

"It's really funny, do you want to hear it Reese?" Craig's eyes flickered.

"No," Reese snapped, and took his seat.

"Reese," Lois glared at him.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Dewey said suddenly.

"Oh, I'll take you," Craig smiled.

Every bone in Reese's body shook with fear and repulsion. A molester taking his little brother to the bathroom, it would be a perfect chance for him to strike again. To spread his disease.

"No, I'll take him," Reese stood up and snatched Dewey's hand from Craig.

"Let go of me Reese!" Dewey wailed.

"Shut up," Reese hissed as they made their way through the restaurant. People began to stare.

"I'm sorry Craig, I don't know what's gotten into him," Lois shut her eyes and shook her head.

"It's all right. He's probably just stressed about something," Craig sat back down with a tiny smile.

In the Gentlemen's Restroom, Reese picked up Dewey and put him on the sink.

"Let me down!" Dewey kicked his legs.

"Listen Dewey, never let Craig take you anywhere," Reese said, holding his legs.

"Why not?" Dewey tried to break free.

"Stop it and listen to me. He's a bad man okay? He'll try to hurt you," Reese sighed.

"What do you mean?" Dewey stopped kicking, and Reese let him go.

"He's just bad, stay away from him," Reese looked into the mirror.

"But why did you say he'll try and hurt me?" Dewey looked at Reese's reflection.

"He just will, okay?" Reese took a breath.

"But why are you saying that?" Dewey raised his eyebrows. "Did he hurt you?"

"No," Reese shot back hotly.

"He did, didn't he?" Dewey's eyes filled up with tears.

"Okay, he did. But you can't tell anyone all right? And you have to promise me you'll stay away from him, promise?" Reese held out his skinny pinky.

But Dewey hopped down from the sink and ran out into the restaurant.

"Dewey no!" Reese ran after him. He stopped and watched as Dewey picked up his plate and threw it at Craig. Half-eaten pancakes with syrup splattered all over his lap.

"You're a bad man!" he said in his high pitched, squeaky voice. He picked up Lois' plate. "You're a bad man!" He tossed it and a sausage knocked Craig's glasses off. "You're a bad man!"

"Dewey! What has gotten into you?" Lois cried and grabbed her youngest son. Everyone in the restaurant was starring, their hands over their gasping mouths.

"Craig is a bad man! Craig is a bad man!" Dewey hollered over and over.

Lois shot a look at Reese which said: "What have you done to him?" Then she turned to Craig. "I'm so sorry, let's just leave,"

"Okay," Craig pushed his glasses up on his nose and quickly went for the exit. Hal followed them.

"Reese, what the hell did you tell Dewey?" Malcolm walked up to his brother.

"Nothing," Reese said nervously.

When they were back at home, Reese made his way to his room but Lois grabbed his shirt.

"Come here," she said, and grabbed one of Hal's belts that was lying on the couch.

"Mom, what are you doing to Reese?" Dewey stepped in front of her.

"Dewey, just go in the living room," Lois pushed Reese into the bathroom, and then locked the door behind her.

"What are you doing Mom?" Reese gulped.

"Reese, I am so tired of all these messes you make, all this shit that's been going on lately," Lois wound the belt around her fist. "I don't know what's been going on with you, but what happened this morning was the most embarrassing thing you've ever done. I don't know what you told Dewey, but Craig has been a very, very good friend to us all of these years and now-," but she was cut off by Reese's muffled "Yea right,"

"You little bastard!" Lois shrieked.

"Mom," Reese's eyes were filled with fright.

"I'm sorry Reese, but I've tried everything, and you still act like an ungrateful brat," Lois gripped the belt in between her fingers.

"Mom, stop it," Reese's voice cracked.

Lois cried out and started whipping him hard. Reese screamed in pain as the black leather belt cut into his skin and left a scorching feeling. He fell to the floor and Lois continued lashing at him. Dewey was screeching and pounding on the door, but Lois kept hitting him and hitting him. After a good ten minutes, she finally stopped. She stood back, breathing hard. "I hope that will teach you," she said sadly, and left.

Reese laid there, beaten with cuts and bruises all over his exposed arms and legs. Little pools of blood were splattered around him. He wept as he slowly sat up, pain searing through his body. He crawled into the corner of the room, and wrapped his crimson-stained arms around his bloody knobby knees. Leaning his head on them, his back moved up and down as he sobbed uncontrollably.

"You're still thin, you're still beauty…" Ana comforted him.


	7. Dizzy Inside My Skin

**I Love You To The Bones  
Chapter Seven**

Monday mornings were such a drag to everyone, but especially Reese. He woke up with his head spinning, and Dewey sleeping beside him. He sighed and slipped out of the bed, careful not to wake his little brother. He got dressed in the silence, covering all the cuts and bruises with a long sleeved red shirt and long jeans.

As he walked into the kitchen, everything around him seemed hazy.

"You okay Reese?" Hal asked.

"I'm fine," Reese breathed.

Lois came into the kitchen then, and as she handed Reese a brown paper bag he flinched terribly.

"It's just your lunch," Lois frowned. She pushed the bag into his hands and then sat across from Hal. "Now go, you'll miss the bus,"

Reese tried to pick up his bookbag three times. Each time he reached for it he missed it, but he could have sworn it was in his hands. Then he fumbled with the locks on the door, but finally got it open and left without saying goodbye.

"Lois, you shouldn't have done that to him yesterday," Hal looked at her.

"Well, what else could I have done Hal? Nothing gets through his head, he just keeps acting up," Lois shut her eyes.

"But Lois, you beat him. You took him into the bathroom and beat him with a belt!" Hal shook his head. "You can't do that to a child,"

"Then you start punishing him. Whenever he does something wrong, you take care of it. I give up," Lois got up quickly and shoved her chair under the table. She turned on her heels and went back to the bedroom.

Hal sighed. He grabbed his hot thermos of coffee and was off to work.

As Reese walked through the blue double doors into his school, he was so dizzy. All of the people around him were blurs. "God what's wrong with me," he thought.

"This is beauty, Reese. This is the gift of hunger. You're so light that you feel faint. There's nothing wrong," Ana smiled.

In his first class, Reese barely paid attention. It had begun to rain, and he looked out of the window the entire time. It was the last downpour of summer.

"Reese, when was James K. Polk elected President?" Mr. Newson's voice was a pain to his ears.

"I don't know," Reese said sleepily.

"Figures," Mr. Newson grunted, and then wrote the date on the white board.

Reese turned back to the window. Summer was dying. The fingers of Autumn were slowly approaching, snatching the season and stealing it away. It was now time for the lush green leaves to fade to brown and fall to the dry grass, dead. A burning scent would replace the smell of fresh flowers and sun-block lotion. The warm beams of sunlight would become cold. It was all terribly depressing to him.

Suddenly the bell echoed through the hallways and Reese gathered his books. As he stood up, the dizziness came back to him. It was like a spell, and it only got worse as he started walking.

"See me after school," Mr. Newson snapped at Reese as he walked by, but he sounded so far away.

Reese stumbled out into the hallway, bumping into people. His ears popped, and everything was fading away. He tried to say "Sorry" but couldn't hear himself. Shadows began to cascade down around him, dancing and laughing. It was terrifying, he felt so alone and lost. The pink in his cheeks was drained, leaving his face a deathly-white. He could barely see, and his heart was pounding fast inside his head. He ran into the lockers and held on to one for awhile.

"Are you okay?" people began to ask.

"I'm fine," Reese pushed himself off of the metal and started walking again. Everything was so fuzzy, his sight was leaving him. He felt as though he might throw-up. He wanted to go home, he was desperate for it.

"Hey Reese, are you okay?" a boy asked. It was Trevor from Reese's English class. "I have your book report," he timidly pulled out a blue folder from his bookbag and held it out for Reese.

"Can you take me to the office?" Reese's hands were shaking.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Trevor was shocked.

"Just take me, all right?" Reese was breathless.

"Um, okay," Trevor grabbed Reese's arm and led him to the office.

The room was all green. A green desk, green chairs, green wallpaper, and a green bookshelf. "Can I help you?" the lady at the desk asked.

"I need to go home," Reese's voice was shaky.

"Oh dear, what's wrong?" the lady's face grew worried.

"I just need to go home," Reese put his hand to his forehead.

The lady looked at Trevor.

"Something's really wrong with him, he couldn't even walk here by himself," Trevor said. He helped Reese sit down in one of the chairs and then went back to the desk.

"What's his name?" the lady raised her eyebrows over her silver-rimmed glasses.

"Reese Wilkerson,"

The lady opened a drawer beneath her desk labeled 'W', and found Reese's file. She quickly picked up the telephone and dialed the number.

"Hello?" Lois picked up the phone, balancing a laundry basket on her hip.

"Hello, this is Mrs. Breckin at Elizabeth High School," the lady tried to sound cheerful.

"Oh God, what did Reese do now?" Lois rolled her eyes and dropped the laundry basket.

"No, Reese hasn't done anything. He's very ill, and he needs to be picked up," Mrs. Brecklin was a little hurt by Lois' tone.

"He's probably faking it, just send him back to class," Lois sighed.

"Mrs. Wilkerson, he's not faking it. His face is completely colorless, and a friend had to help him to the office. He needs to be picked up right now," Mrs. Brecklin eyed Reese, who was starring at the ceiling.

"Oh," Lois was struck dumb. "I'll, I'll be right here," she hung up the phone and grabbed her car keys. "Dewey! I have to go pick up Reese!" she yelled as she rushed out the door.

"I'll see you later Reese," Trevor said, and went back to class.

Lois arrived only twenty minutes after Trevor had left. "Oh my god Reese, what's wrong with you?" she said as she came into the office.

"I don't know what happened to him," Mrs. Brecklin said sadly.

"Well, I'm taking him home, thank you for calling," Lois said quickly, and left.

"Reese, what's wrong?" Lois asked as she helped her son into the blue family van. The rain had stopped, and a damp scent lingered in the air.

"I'm just really dizzy…" Reese closed his eyes.

"Oh my god," Lois broke down. "I'm so sorry Reese, I did this to you, I know I did," she fell down onto the pavement.

Reese was completely surprised. He had never seen his mother like this. "No mom, you didn't do this," he slowly got out of the car and sat down beside her on the ground.

"Reese! I beat you yesterday! I hit you over and over with a belt, you were bleeding!" Lois choked through her tears.

"I deserved it," Reese lowered his eyes.

"No you didn't Reese! I hate myself for doing this to you, look at you! You can't even walk, and look," she stopped and pulled up his sleeves. "Oh my god," she turned away from his abused arms and sobbed. "I'm a terrible mother…"

"No you're not mom," Reese tried to smile.

Lois turned back to him; his pretty face was blurry through her tears. "I love you Reese, I love you so much," she cried.

"I love you too," Reese held back his sugary tears.

And they threw their arms around each other, sitting upon the rain-soaked pavement.

"I'll never hurt you again Reese," Lois whispered.

Reese wondered if this was a good time to tell her what Craig had done. But a feeling of golden peace was resting in his soul, he felt happy and calm. It had been a long time since he felt like this, and he didn't want to spoil it. The dizziness began to die away. So he let Lois help him up into the car, and they drove back home, where he spent the rest of the day lying on the couch watching TV with Dewey.


	8. Elegant Defeat

**I Love You To The Bones  
Chapter Eight**

"Oh it's so frightening, yet so thrilling. Are you going to fall Reese? I'll catch you, I promise,"

Two weeks had passed. Reese barely ate anything at all, only soup if he couldn't stand the hunger pains, and water  
was the only other thing that entered through his lips. Each morning when he stepped upon the scale, and as the numbers  
dropped, he gained more and more control of this sweet little sickness.

His bronzed skin was loosing its glow, fading to white. He was lightheaded every morning, and when the wind blew he  
felt as though it could sweep him off of his feet. His elbows and knees were so knobby, he was becoming a feather.  
Finally he was on the path to perfection.

But that night, Lois came home holding a large red and white box. "Guess what I've got!" she called out happily.

"Pizza! Pizza!" Dewey jumped up and down and tried to snatch the box away.

"Hal! Malcolm! Reese! Pizza for dinner!" Lois laughed as she let Dewey carry the box to the table.

Hal and Malcolm came racing into the kitchen, and positioned their selves around the steaming box. Hal reached out to  
open it but Lois smacked his hand away. "We have to wait for Reese," she said sternly.

"Reese hurry up!" Malcolm snapped.

"I'm doing my homework," he shouted back, and closed his eyes. Everything made him feel exhausted now, even speaking.

"You can finish it later, come eat with us," Lois knew he wasn't doing his homework.

In his bedroom, Reese took a huge breath. He couldn't go out there; he couldn't be tempted by food. But he also didn't want  
to make his mother suspicious. He had been getting off of the hook by telling her he was going to friend's houses, but he was  
really walking or riding his bike, desperately trying to waste away.

"Reese? Are you coming?" Lois asked.

He slowly got up and walked into the kitchen, everything around him spinning. He pulled out the remaining chair and plopped  
himself into it.

"Okay, everyone dig in!" Lois beamed.

And now it began. Once more, the beauty observed the beasts. Even when they were slightly hungry, they scarfed down  
everything in sight. Reese had been starving for weeks, but cast away all food that was offered to him. He was delighted by  
his elegance, his willpower. It was so madly beautiful that it made him want to cry. They could never join him in this happiness,  
heavy things won't fly. He swam against the ethereal night sky, empty and pure, while they remained on the ground, disgusting.

"Reese? Aren't you going to get a slice of pizza?" Hal asked through his sloppy bites.

"No, I ate a big lunch at school," his words were slurred and so quiet, and they rang through his mind. But they were music to Ana.

"You eat a big lunch everyday?" Lois frowned.

"I've got to build up for basketball tryouts," he felt drugged.

"Then you have to eat big dinners too," Lois put down her slice of pizza.

"No, that ruins my diet," Reese knew he sounded ridiculous, but he couldn't think straight.

"So what, you just skip dinner?" Lois gave him a hard stare.

"Yes, now I need to finish my homework," Reese pushed himself away from the table and stormed out.

"What's wrong with Reese?" Dewey asked, taking small bites of his pizza.

"I don't know," Lois massaged her forehead.

"Lois, he's all right. He's just worried about his tryouts," Hal tried to comfort her.

"But Hal he barely eats! And I know he doesn't eat at school, I just know," Lois sighed. "I just don't know what to do,"  
hopelessness caused her to lose her appetite.

* * *

The basketball tryouts finally approached. It was now time for Reese's hard work to pay off. His determination was all he had,  
and he walked onto the court with an eager, but weak, heart. 

"Welcome," the coach said as he walked into the gym.

The boys nodded, huddled together on the bleachers.

"There are two days of tryouts," he scanned over the hopeful players. "Today will be our drill day. We will do dribbling, shooting,  
and passing exercises. And at the end, if you do a good job, we will play a game," he smiled.

Some of the boys smacked high fives.

"Now, I want everyone to partner up, grab a basketball for each pair, and line up in twos," he drew his whistle to his lips and blew it. "Go!"

"Reese, come on," the sandy blonde-haired boy punched his shoulder. Reese couldn't help but remember the day everything crashed down,  
how this boy was depending on him to win, but he failed. Now it was time to show him. To show everyone.

They got their basketball and stood beside each other, awaiting the coach's next order.

"Okay, our first exercise is dribbling. I want each pair to dribble down the court, passing it to each other, and back," the silver whistle was in  
his lips once again. "Go!" It screeched against the slick walls and the first pair was off.

"You ready?" the sandy blonde-haired boy asked.

"Yea," Reese nodded. They were the sixth pair.

Everyone in front of him began to disappear, and fear sparked in his body. He gulped as the sandy blonde-haired boy began dribbling,  
and passed it to him. His fingers were shaking but he caught it, bounced it between his legs, and passed it back. They did this for ten  
minutes, and Reese became weary.

"Good job everyone, good job," the coach scribbled on his clipboard when they were done. "Okay, now time for shooting. Everyone  
needs their own ball, and I want you to form one line,"

Reese got behind his partner and felt every bone in his body melting. He could hardly hear the voices around him, and he was shaking  
uncontrollably. The line began to wither away again, and now it was his turn.

"Wilkerson! Go!" the coach shouted. Reese watched as his mouth opened but he didn't hear a sound. He ran with the last drop of energy  
in him, threw his arms out and tossed the ball towards the hoop, and it dropped through with a pleasing swish of the net.

The players all cheered; it was the best shot of the day. And then Reese felt his legs give out. All of his muscles collapsed in his body, and  
his surroundings faded to black. He couldn't go on anymore. The beauty was consuming him, and it would feel so good to just let go. He  
fell to the floor hard; with a thud that hushed the ironic applaud.


	9. All That Wakes While Sleeping

**I Love You To The Bones  
Chapter Nine**

"Can't you hook him up to a feeding tube?"

"No, that is not necessary,"

"But he hasn't been eating!"

"Mrs. Wilkerson, your son is suffering from exhaustion. It's from all of the training he's been doing for these basketball tryouts,"

"Look, I don't know who you think you are but I am his mother and I know what he's been suffering from. He needs to be hooked to a feeding tube this instant!"

"Mam, please calm down. Your son needs all the rest he can get and your yelling sure isn't helping. And also, I have looked over your insurance records and you can't  
afford a feeding tube,"

The voices of his mother and the doctor spun around in Reese's head. He felt terrible, his insides were writhing from hunger and his brain felt like it was stretching and  
melting at the same time. His heart was beating very weakly, he was sure if he could see it, it would have looked like a shriveled up rose petal. He was too scared to open  
his eyes; he didn't want to face his mother.

The doctor gave Lois a hard look, and then turned on his heel and left the room.

"Lois what is going on?" Hal asked as Lois sat down in a wheelchair, cradling herself.

She covered her eyes and lowered her head.

"Lois?"

She brought her head back up and sighed. "I'm scared that Reese is," she stopped and looked at the ceiling.

"He's what?" Hal raised an eyebrow, but Lois just shook her head. "Please, tell me," he begged.

"I'm scared that he's anorexic,"

In the hospital bed, Reese twitched. But no one saw.

"But that's a girl disorder," Malcolm spoke up, crinkling his nose.

"Malcolm shut up," Lois snapped, massaging her forehead.

"Lois-why, why do you think that?" Hal was stunned. "He can't be, he can't. He eats breakfast and lunch at school, he's fine. He's fine,"

"No Hal, he doesn't. I know he doesn't, I just," Lois sighed. She felt herself unraveling. She could barely look at her son laying on that hospital bed, decaying from view.

"I'm going to take Malcolm and Dewey to the cafeteria. Try to talk to him," Hal tipped his head towards Reese's lifeless body.

As they left, Dewey reached out to hold his brother's hand, and then disappeared into the medicine scented hallways. Tears stung at Lois' eyes as she watched them  
turn the corner. She took a deep breath and turned back to Reese, to find he had awoken.

"Reese," she gasped.

He swallowed all his fear. "Hi, mom,"

"Reese I, I, don't know what to say," she put her hand over her heart and sat by his bedside.

"I heard you," Reese said, terror swimming in his eyes. "I wasn't sleeping,"

"You weren't?" the air was so heavy. "Reese, Reese you can't do this to yourself," she reached out to take his hand and he rolled his eyes, trying to be strong. "You're hurting  
yourself, you're going to, you could, you could die," so much pain glittered in her eyes, and spilt upon the glossy floors.

"Mom I'm fine," Reese showed no emotion, though he was dissolving inside.

"No you're not Reese! You're, you're letting a disease take over you. You're causing so much damage to yourself, can't you see?" Lois was choking on tears.

"I have to use the bathroom," Reese slowly sat up and left his mother weeping silently.

* * *

The light flickered on as Reese shut the big brown door behind him.

_"You make the sound of laugher, and sharpened nails seem softer And I need you now somehow"_

Soundless, his blue and green itchy hospital gown fell to the floor and he stood in the middle of the small room naked.

_"Open fire on the needs designed On my knees for you Open fire on my knees desires What I need from you"_

He held his breath as he starred into the mirror. The silvered glass showed a boy with ribs poking out from under his skin, his collarbones glowing, knobby knees that  
desperately tried to hold up two weak twigs, and toothpicks that were connected to a tiny back with a razor spine going down it. Fragile elegant perfection was reflected,  
but Reese only saw mounds of disgusting fat.

_"Imagine pageant In my head the flesh seems thicker Sandpaper tears corrode the filth and I need you now somehow"_

Sorrowed sequins were sliding down his cheek but he brushed them away. No one was going to stop him. No one could take this sweet sickness away. A universe of  
beautiful madness was spilling into his arms, and he held on to it devotedly.

"You're my obsession, Reese" Ana whispered and her voice was music to his ears.


	10. Boys Night In

**I Love You To The Bones  
Chapter Ten**

Lois pulled up into the driveway in the late afternoon. "We're here, Reese," she said sadly.

Reese was sleeping in the passenger seat. Lois watched him for awhile, to make sure he was still breathing. She was so scared that he would leave her any moment.  
She reached out to gently shake him awake. Those tired eyes slowly opened and he took in his surroundings. "Oh," he breathed and unbuckled himself.

Lois remained in the car as he got out. Her eyes were burning with tears again, she observed her son as he walked under the sun, his shoulders glowing with peekaboo  
bones. And then he stopped and saw something that put a disgusted look on his face.

"Malcolm what are you doing?" he shouted.

Malcolm jumped and turned to face his brother. "Reese?" he squinted through the sunlight.

"What are you doing?" Reese walked over onto Craig's lawn.

Malcolm was holding two paper bags full of groceries. "I just got back from the store; I'm helping Craig with his groceries," he shifted the bags in his arms.

"You went shopping with him?" Reese's bottom lip was curling.

"Yea, what's your problem?" Malcolm gave a look of confusion.

"Malcolm! Where are you?" Craig's voice sounded from inside the house. The front door was open and revealed a darkened hallway.

Suddenly Reese flung out his skinny arm and knocked the bags out of Malcolm's hands. The eggs smashed upon the pavement and yellow splattered everywhere, a  
six-pack of beers fell by his feet and one of them broke open and sputtered over Malcolm's shoe.

"Reese you freak! What is wrong with you?" Malcolm jumped back so his shoes wouldn't get anymore soaked.

"Don't ever go in his house, don't ever help him with anything,"

"What? Why?"

"Reese! What is the matter with you?" Lois approached them. She bent down and started picking up the destroyed groceries.

"Malcolm where-," Craig came outside but stopped when he saw Lois. "Oh, hello there Lois!" he looked at her like he wanted her to go away.

"Craig I am so sorry about this," she sighed over the spilt foods.

Just then Reese turned and ran away.

"Malcolm, help Craig with these groceries, I'm going to talk to Reese," Lois stood up.

Malcolm looked at Craig with uncertainty. "Umm, I have a lot of homework," he stuttered. Craig's hopeful stare turned into disappointment. Before Lois could  
reply he ran off as well.

"It's okay Lois, just leave it be," Craig sighed and went back into the house, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Later that night, Lois was frantically running around the house trying to find her purse.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Malcolm asked from the couch.

"Craig just called and he wants me to take his shift at Lucky Aide," Lois said drastically. She found her purse and flung it over her shoulder.

"Screw him," Malcolm snapped.

Lois rolled her eyes. "You know I don't know why you and Reese treat that poor man so terribly," she looked in the mirror by the front door and smoothed  
out her hair. "Okay, Dewey is sleeping over at Egg's house and Hal is working late, I don't think he'll be home until midnight," she huffed, noticing the dark  
circles under her eyes. "Will you look out for Reese?"

"He's sleeping," Malcolm frowned.

"Just," but Lois only shook her head and left.

After a few minutes of starring blankly at the TV screen, Malcolm turned to look down the hallway where Reese was, and it seemed endless. He sighed and  
pushed himself off of the couch and uneasily walked down the dark corridor. Afraid the doorknob would shock him and ward him off, he cautiously touched  
his hand to it, and then wrapped his fingers around it and pushed it open.

The room was austere, like a dream. The top of Reese's head dimly shone under the pale moonlight that was pouring through the window. Malcolm quietly  
shut the door behind him and sat down on his bed, but he did not lay down. He folded his hands together and watched Reese sleeping, or so he thought. He heard  
a piano softly playing, it sounded like Evanescence. He stood up and turned on the light, to find Reese listening to his headphones.

His face became wrinkled, wondering why Reese was listening to a band like that. Giggling, he took his headphones off and Reese shot up.

"Malcolm! What the fuck are you doing?" he shouted.

"Why are you listening to My Immortal?" Malcolm snorted.

"Shut up, give it back," Reese snatched his CD player away and the headphones smacked him in the face.

Malcolm burst out laughing and fell on Reese's bed, holding his sides.

"Malcolm I'm not kidding, get out," Reese tried to push him off the bed, but his arms were too weak now. He had no strength left.

Malcolm's laughter was hushed. "God Reese your hands feel like a skeleton," he sat up and fixed his eyes on the bony fingers. They were like thin cigarettes  
burning away.

"Just leave me alone," Reese layed down on the bed and pulled the covers over himself.

Malcolm bit his lip and then yanked the covers away, and started to pull Reese's shirt off.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" Reese shrieked, and tried to keep his shirt down. "Stop it Malcolm! Mom!"

"She's not here," Malcolm struggled with the black t-shirt, and finally got it over his head. He tossed it to the floor, and as it fell silently his mouth dropped  
open.

Reese lay there, exposed. He wasn't sure what to do.

"Reese…" Malcolm breathed.

"What are you starring at?" he growled.

"Reese, what's wrong with you?" Malcolm's heart was tightening.

"Nothing," Reese sat up.

"But, but you can see all of your, your bones," Malcolm said worriedly.

"I know," Reese said with a secret pleasure.

"Reese, that's not, that's not good. You're, you're sick," Malcolm's hands were shaking.

"I am not sick," Reese said angrily. "Can we please not talk about this?" he looked around the room, irritation swimming inside of him.

Malcolm's eyes lingered over his brother's childlike body. "What did Craig do to you?" he asked gently. "Why did you destroy his groceries?"

Reese shut his eyes; he knew Malcolm was going to ask him about that. What could he say? He was running out of lies. "I hate him,"

"Why?" Malcolm laughed nervously.

"He's a fucking queer," Reese looked at his knees.

"Yea, he sure is. Remember all that gay porn we found on his computer?" Malcolm tossed his head back, chuckling. No laughter came from Reese. The  
smile faded from Malcolm's face and he swallowed hard. "Please tell me what Craig did to you,"

"He didn't do anything, okay!" Reese's temper was hotly flashing in his eyes.

"Reese, I know he did," Malcolm tried to remain calm.

"Why do you care anyway? What's with you?" Reese glared at him.

"I, I don't know," Malcolm felt his face growing red and looked away.

Reese's defenses melted and he became softer. "Hey, look. I took care of it, and he won't hurt me again,"

"He hurt you?" Malcolm turned back to face him.

He wished he hadn't of said that. "No, well," he exhaled. "Just, don't worry about it," he looked down and played with a loose string on his blanket.

"Do you, do you think he was going to hurt me today too?" Malcolm asked fearfully.

"Yea," Reese said firmly.

"What would you have done?"

"I would have killed him,"

They looked at each other and then Reese's lips were caressing Malcolm's. Their trembling hands moved to cradle each other's faces and their tongues  
swirled together. It was a beautiful, tainted, doomed discovery. They fell back on the bed and the universe crumbled away.

They were drowning in the deepest darkest sea. They sleepwalked into a sinful blissful meadow where every flower was perfect. Terrified, Reese  
removed Malcolm's shirt and they explored each other's forbidden flesh. This was something so surprising, so frightening, so wonderful.

_If only night could hold you where I can see you, my love  
Then I would never ever wake again_

"Where is everyone?" and then Hal's voice shattered their newfound paradise.

"Shit," they both muttered as they sprang up and hopped around the room, grabbing their shirts and turning off the light. "Pretend to be asleep,"  
Malcolm hissed as they climbed back into their beds and pulled the covers to their chins.

_Have they gone? I pretended  
to sleep because I wanted to be  
left alone with you.  
I have many things I want  
to tell you, well only one,  
but it's as huge as the ocean,  
as deep and infinite as the sea_

"Boys?" Hal came into the room, flipping on the light.

Malcolm remained still, and then slowly rose. "Yea, Dad?" he let out a fake yawn and rubbed his eyes.

"Where's Lois?" Hal asked.

"She had to take Craig's shift at Lucky Aide," Malcolm replied.

Hal quickly left, muttering about how Craig was a thorn in his side.

Malcolm nestled back into his bed, giggling. He smiled at Reese and Reese smiled back.

"I love you Reese," he whispered.

"I love you, Malcolm," Reese whispered back.

_Goodnight sleep tight no more tears  
In the morning I'll be here_


	11. Cruel

"My dear wasting lover,  
What can I do to make you see  
Your soul is beautiful, your body was  
But now this path to perfection of yours  
Is stealing your body away-  
Your warm muscles and browned skin  
Now are only cold bones and yellow paper  
Soon your soul will be consumed, along with your clever mind  
And no longer will I have you  
You will be sleeping eternally beneath the grass,  
Already a decaying skeleton,  
Thinner than the worms that crawl through  
Your burned out and melted brain  
So I shall stop eating as well  
So you can realize  
How blind you are, how deep you are falling,  
And how fast you are slipping from the world"

**I Love You To The Bones  
****Chapter Eleven**

Reese awoke to find Malcolm and Dewey's bed was empty. He sat up and instantly he was swimming. His head felt so heavy, his stomach was so hollow.  
Sharp clouds crept up behind his eyes and gave him his headache for the day. He grimaced as he stared at the tousled sheets where he and Malcolm had lost  
control of themselves only hours before. He couldn't believe what he and his brother had done; how twisted he had become. He swore to himself he would  
not let anything like that happen again. He just wanted to shut Malcolm up, to make him stop interrogating him. No one would find out about Ana, and no  
one could stop him, he was in control of his own morbid world.

Sighing, he slowly stood and noticed a few of his hairs on his dirty pillow. He quickly brushed them away to the floor where other pieces were gathering. He  
no longer spiked his mahogany locks; they were becoming too thin to style. Now his hair was limp and close to his head, always breaking when he tried to run  
a comb through it.

When he entered the kitchen, he froze. Lois, Hal, and Dewey were happily devouring hot chocolate and doughnuts, and the sweet smell wavered up into his  
nose and right down into his stomach. Hunger pains ripped through that small cave beneath his ribs.

"Morning son," Hal finally noticed him standing there.

"Oh, hi Reese," Lois carefully smiled. "I had to pick up Dewey early from Egg's house, and I decided to stop at Krispy Kreme for everyone,"

Reese's eyes were glazed over the tempting things, but he told himself they were disgusting.

"Don't need it, don't need it, you love to be empty, you love to be empty," Ana chanted like an ancient witch, and Reese obeyed her spell.

"I'm just gonna make some broth," he said sadly. He went to the counter and plucked the can of watery paste-like soup from the cabinet.

Malcolm came into the kitchen then, eyeing Reese's threadlike figure as he sat down at the table.

"You were in the shower a long time this morning," Lois said curiously to him.

"Oh, yeah, the shampoo wouldn't come out of my hair," Malcolm laughed nervously. He looked at the large box of doughnuts centered on the table in front  
of him. He had thought of his artful plan while he was in the shower, not washing his hair or his skin of course; he wanted Reese's touch to stay on him.

"Aren't you going to get a doughnut?" Lois frowned.

"Mmm, no, I'm not really hungry," Malcolm shrugged.

At the counter, Reese dropped the spoon he was using to stir his broth as he angrily listened to his brother. He was so paranoid he knew exactly what Malcolm  
had up his sleeve.

"Are you okay? You and Dewey have been begging for doughnuts the past few days, and he's already had four," Lois stopped as Dewey crammed another one  
into his mouth. "Five," she rolled her eyes.

"Nah, I have to get to school," Malcolm pushed himself away from the table.

Lois watched him hard as he went to pick up his bookbag. He slung it over his shoulders casually and slipped out of the door without another word. Before she  
turned back, Reese had taken three sips of the broth and poured it into the sink. Her gaze softened as he turned around to face her.

"What?" he asked innocently.

Lois sighed. "Have a good day," she nodded.

* * *

Reese caught up with Malcolm before he got to Stevie's house. He stretched out his gaunt arm and pulled him backwards by his bookbag, forcibly turning him  
around so they were looking eye to eye. 

"What the hell was that?" he demanded.

Malcolm wrinkled up his eyebrows. "What was what?"

"Why did you not eat breakfast?" Reese sneered.

"I just wasn't hungry. How come you didn't eat breakfast?" Malcolm challenged him.

"You always pig out at breakfast, I know what you're doing you idiot,"

Malcolm was stung by the harshness in Reese's voice. "I'm not doing anything,"

"You're trying that stupid reverse psychology crap on me. It's not going to work Malcolm, you don't understand this. This isn't something you can fiddle with  
on your little calculator or chemistry set. I want you to stay out of it, okay? I don't need you trying to help me, I don't want any help. I don't need you,"

"But, Reese," Malcolm's heart was tightening. He wasn't expecting it to go this way.

"And what happened last night," Reese lowered his glare. "You can forget about that too. I can't believe how horrible that was. You're a freak Malcolm,"

"What?" Malcolm was devastated. "Reese,"

But Reese's bus pulled up then, and he immediately disappeared into it. Malcolm was left with the cruelty his brother had rained down upon him as he stood with  
his mouth agape, trying to figure out where his plan had gone wrong.

* * *

In the late afternoon, Reese returned home to find Malcolm strewn across the couch. He rolled his eyes, throwing his bookbag down and walking right past him.  
Malcolm slowly sat up blinking. 

"Reese, how can you do this?" he asked, exhaustion dripping in his voice.

Reese stopped and smiled.

"How can you not eat anything? Do you know what's happening to your body right now? It's shutting down. Your body is shutting down. All the dizziness you  
have and the fainting, soon you're going to pass out and never wake up. Do you know the damage you're doing to your liver? Your kidneys? You're going to die Reese,  
why do you want to do this to yourself?"

"He's so jealous, look at him, he's jealous of you Reese," Ana snickered.

"You're so fucking weak Malcolm. You've only gone a few hours without food," Reese laughed. "You're just jealous. I know how to handle this, and you're furious  
that you can't. You're pitching a fit because you've found something you can't figure out. Sorry Malcolm, you won't be getting a ribbon for reverse psychology any  
time soon,"

Malcolm lay back on the couch as Reese slammed the door to their room. He couldn't believe he had failed. And he couldn't believe that all these years Reese had been  
so cruel to him, but now it actually hurt him, now he actually cared.

* * *


	12. Pale

**I Love You to the Bones  
Chapter Twelve**

Later that day, Malcolm found himself leaving the library with books overflowing in his arms. Each book was thicker than Reese's body, and each had 'anorexia' in its title.  
When he was home, he shut himself up in Hal and Lois' room and began to devour book by book. He swore to himself he would learn all he could about the disorder, and find  
a way to help his brother. He let his eyes dissolve over the tiny words on the worn pages for hours, reading endless analyses from doctors and psychiatrists, symptoms, all of  
the possible causes - he noted that sexual molestation was one of them – and stories from anorexia survivors. Soon his eyes were so tired he could barely keep them open, with  
each blink they became heavier and heavier. Soon his head collapsed over the books, and he slept, with bony Reese haunting his mind.

* * *

When he woke, he saw that someone had carried him back to his bed. He peered at the green alarm clock which read 4:37 am. He then looked over to Reese, but found that his  
bed was not there. The bare floor where it once was shone with an airy blue light that was pouring in from the window. Malcolm panicked, and pulled himself out of his bed.  
He rushed over to the frozen window, and through the frost-painted glass saw that a hand was sticking out from under a patch of dirt in the ground below. He scrambled to get  
the window open, and then toppled out into the yard and crawled over to the makeshift grave. 

He began to dig madly, clawing the dirt away until he stopped and screamed.

Reese's corpse was lying before him, with perished purple lips and sickly pale blue skin that was so lose it was draped over his bones. Malcolm kept screaming as he fell over  
Reese's stiff body, which looked so grotesque against the brown of the earth. His skin began to peel as Malcolm rested his weight over him, and Malcolm drew back. He  
watched the transparent, cerulean flesh melt away and soon only a skeleton was sprawled out in front of him. He stared in horror, his screams silenced by the harrowing sight  
of his dead, starved brother.

Soon Malcolm finally woke up, and saw that he was back in Hal and Lois' room. His heart was bursting in his throat as he gathered the books from the library and hid them in  
the closet. He then ran out into the hallway and into his bedroom. Reese's bed was there, and Reese was sleeping upon it. Fearfully, Malcolm crept over and bent his head close  
to Reese's. When he heard soft breathing, his heart finally calmed. He left Reese to rest and went into the kitchen, where he ate everything he could get his hands on.

* * *

Reese finally emerged from the bedroom, and came across Malcolm consuming all of the contents of the refrigerator. He watched in horror, and then began to laugh faintly.  
Malcolm looked up, and decided to try and play Reese's game of cruelty. 

"I'm eating because I'm smart, I don't want to destroy my body," he snapped at Reese.

"He's not smart at all. You must not eat to destroy the disgusting fat that hides your body. Once you have shed that fat, then a thin and perfect creature will rise out of the  
ashes," Ana spoke with a terrifying wisdom.

"Malcolm, I really wish you would stop trying to make me eat. You're just embarrassing yourself," Reese plucked a water bottle out of the fridge and went to sit on the couch.

"You know Reese; your body is not going to be some flawless sculpture. You're going to be an ugly pile of bones instead. You won't even be able to stand," Malcolm took  
bigger bites of his sandwich.

"I don't care about what I look like," Reese turned up the volume on the television.

"So you're doing this because you think it makes you strong? You think it gives you control? God Reese it's the exact fucking opposite of that. You're not strong. You were, but  
now you are pitiful. If I threw this plate at you it would probably kill you. And you're not in control of this. You've let it take control of you. There's probably some voice in your  
head right? And it's probably telling you how wonderful all of this is. Stop listening to it Reese, stop listening to it, it's only lying to you. You're lying to yourself," Malcolm was  
standing now, his voice becoming stronger and louder with every word.

Reese had shrunken into the couch, staring at Malcolm with his eyes as wide as his open mouth. He knew that Malcolm saw his fear, and Malcolm knew that he had found a weak spot.  
Reese then threw the remote across the floor and went to the door.

"Where the hell are you going?" Malcolm demanded.

"I'm going running," Reese shouted, and his shirt wavered with the wind as he jogged down the driveway.

"Don't run too fast, your heart will probably give out and you'll die in the middle of the street," Malcolm called out at his back. He stood on the porch for a moment, and then felt a  
chill go down his spine. He looked over and saw that Craig was standing in his yard, peering at him with a twisted curiosity. Malcolm grimaced and quickly turned on his heel back into  
the house, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

As Reese ran as hard as he could, his heart began to slow. He freaked out and grabbed at his chest, falling to the ground screaming. He was so afraid that it would stop, and that he would  
die right there, only a few minutes from his own home. He was so angry at Malcolm for putting this fear into his mind. But Ana was there to wash it all away. 

"See? You're still alive Reese. Don't believe what Malcolm says. He's poking his nose into books, into fiction. You are strong, and you are in control. I am the only one you can trust,"

He sat on the mossy ground, still clutching his chest. He listened to his own breathing and felt his heart began to beat normally once more. Tears began to burn at his eyes, swelling up in  
his throat. "You're controlling me," he whispered to Ana, and lied back on the grass, crying silently.

_"__It's all my state of mind  
__I can't leave it all behind  
__I h__a__ve to stand up to be stronger  
__H__ave to try to break free  
__From the thoughts in my mind  
__Use the time that I have  
__I can't say goodbye  
__I have to make it right  
__Have to fight, cause I know  
__In the end it's worthwhile  
__That the pai__n that I feel slowly fades away  
__It will be alright"_


	13. Glass Forest

**I Love You To The Bones  
Chapter Thirteen**

The lights of the Lucky Aide grocery store glimmered softly in the cold shadows of the early night.  
Inside, it radiated with warmth and was much brighter. Murmurs of few customers floated down  
the aisles, business was always slow at this hour.

Lois was re-stocking the boxes of sugary cereals in the near silence. She pushed pieces of her  
hair out of her eyes as she reached down to gather more boxes. When she stood again, there  
was Craig, his face red and drenched in sweat.

"Craig!" she cried out. "What are you doing?" she asked him as irritation swam in her voice.

"Check this out!" he hopped onto an electronic scooter which was reserved for senior citizens. Lois  
rolled her eyes as he sped down the aisle, curved, and then sped back. "What do you think? I was  
fiddling with the wires and now this baby can go twenty-five miles an hour!" Craig flashed a wild  
smile and pushed his thick glasses close to his nose.

Lois glared at him. "Craig, those things are not for moronic races through the aisles. They are for  
the weak elderly who want to coast peacefully and shop for the things they need without crashing  
into anything," she shook her head as she kept re-stocking the shelves, and then glanced into his  
basket. "Why do you have a ten pound turkey?"

Craig beamed down at the plump bird he had chosen. "I'm going to cook it for Thanksgiving! It's  
just around the corner you know,"

"Oh my god, I had forgotten," Lois rubbed at her ever-sore temples. "There's so much to do,"

"Ah, don't worry about a thing! I want to invite your family to my house for Thanksgiving. You won't  
have to cook or clean at all!" Craig said proudly with a puffed chest.

"Craig," Lois gave him a small smile. "That's sweet of you, but maybe next year," she thought of Reese,  
sitting at the table while everyone chattered and ate around him. She thought of him always ready to  
fade away, starring at the delicious food, not touching a thing. Would he even cook this year?

"Oh," a darkness burned in Craig's eyes. "Why not this year?"

"I'm sorry, Craig. We're going to have a small Thanksgiving this year. We probably won't even have a  
turkey," Lois put up the last of the cereal boxes. "Could you fix that thing, please?" she narrowed her  
eyes to the scooter, and then turned on her heel to leave him in the dust of his rejection.

"Malcolm!" she smiled when she reached the front of the store, her son had just walked in.

"Hey, mom," he spoke with a slight nervousness.

"What are you doing here? Who is home with Reese?" Lois closed in on him in the glass doorways.

"Don't worry, dad and Dewey are there," Malcolm nodded.

They stood there, their weight making the clear doors open and shut, the coldness seeping in and  
out of the store. Malcolm took a step forward but Lois remained where she was.

"You still haven't told me what you're doing here," she looked down upon him, tapping her fingers  
on the blue of her shirt.

Open and shut.

"Jeez, mom, I'm just here to get some soda," he sputtered up his lie and went past her.

Lois watched him disappear, and then moved, sighing, to her register, where two customers  
were waiting to be checked out.

Malcolm didn't know exactly how to find it. He didn't know if it even existed. Something to put into  
Reese's broth or water. Tasteless. Colorless. Something to help him gain weight, something to put  
protein back into him, something to nourish him secretly. How could he find it?

"Well, hi there Malcolm!" Craig came speeding down the aisle, his hips falling over the sides of the  
scooter's black leather seat. "Whatcha lookin' for?"

Malcolm stared at the revolting man before him. He wanted so badly to hit him, to make him bleed,  
to make him suffer. He knew he could never make Craig suffer as much as Reese was, though.  
That pain could never be matched.

"Hello? Anyone in there?" Craig was hooting.

"Get away from me," Malcolm said lowly, and began to walk. The sound of mechanic wheels followed him.

"Malcolm! Why the resentment? I only wanted to ask how Reese was doing…" Craig's voice lightened.

Malcolm stopped, a sense of rage traveling bitterly down the length of his spine. How dare he ask about  
Reese, how dare he act this innocent. He had destroyed Reese and now he asks charmingly how he's doing.

"He's fucking starving himself," Malcolm turned around seething.

"Oh dear, that's terrible. I kind of knew, after what I heard you yelling to him yesterday," Craig was  
pouting, his eyes shining behind his glasses.

"He's starving himself because of what you did to him," Malcolm took a step closer. "I don't know  
what you did but so help me you'll pay for it," he was hovering above the thick flesh of Craig's  
face, so ready to rip it off. But he moved on, keeping his calm.

"I haven't done anything," Craig turned around, speaking to Malcolm's back.

Malcolm hurried to the front of the store, where Lois was alone, counting the money in her register.  
He kept his eyes lowered and walked silently but she sensed him, looking up to see his empty hands.

"Malcolm, I thought you were getting a soda?" her voice broke the heavy quiet of the store.

"They were out," he shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh, well come on to the back, I'll see if we have more," Lois closed her register.

"No, mom, that's okay," Malcolm waved his hand, brushing it aside.

"Well, tell me the name of it, and I'll bring you one tomorrow," Lois took out a pad of paper and went  
searching for a pen.

"Really mom, it's okay," Malcolm said too strongly, and then threw himself from the store without  
a goodbye.

Lois sighed and threw the pad of paper onto the counter. She flipped her bangs away from her  
eyes and looked up into the large mirrors surrounding the store. She found Craig, sitting motionless  
in the health aisle. A frown clouded her face, followed by another pouring sigh, and then she went  
back to work.

Malcolm came home to find Hal and Dewey eating popcorn on the couch, the television flashing  
trucks and guns before them.

"Where's Reese?" he asked with worry.

"He didn't feel well, he went to bed," Hal answered, shoving popcorn into his mouth and  
screaming as shots were fired.

Malcolm left the loudness of the living room behind him and crept into the softness of the bedroom.  
Here was Reese, sound asleep, bare-boned and lost under the blankets. Malcolm was unaware  
that Reese was dreaming of a forest, a forest where he was dying. A forest with glass trees,  
and they were all shattering.

Malcolm sat on his bed, starring at the moonlight sifting over Reese's pale skin. He wanted to touch it,  
to trace his fingertips over Reese's flesh and heal him, but he knew that was not possible. He  
remained frozen; watching his porcelain brother, and then saw his eyelids begin to flutter madly.

Reese awakened from his dream, safe in the darkness of his room. He looked up with frightened eyes  
at Malcolm, his chest collapsing as he clung to it with shaking hands.

"Are you okay Reese?" Malcolm stood, biting his lip.

"Malcolm," Reese breathed in deeply.

_'Hunger is a lullaby in a glass forest. You will sleep forever with me' _Ana whispered, but Reese taught  
himself to ignore.

"Malcolm, I," he closed his weary eyes. "I want help,"


	14. Promise

"Okay, Reese. I read a lot of books that I got from the library. Most of them said the best treatment is therapy," Malcolm was sitting with his brother in the kitchen, Lois and Hal away at work and Dewey sound asleep in the bedroom.

"Yeah, right. I'm not talking to some therapist just so they can look at me like I'm a whack-job," Reese was shivering, even though the house was perfectly warm. Malcolm watched him in fear, swearing he could see the bones shaking as if there was no flesh to envelop them. His brother now reminded him of the skeletons in the haunted house cartoons they used to watch.

"Professionals know what they are doing," Malcolm tried to convince him, but Reese only stared back with deadened eyes. "Well, we wouldn't be able to afford it anyway. And we would have to tell mom and dad,"

"No!" Reese slammed his fist onto the table, making a bruise bloom beneath the thin skin of his hand. "You promised you would help me. And you promised to keep this a secret,"

"I am going to help you, I swear. You're not alone Reese. Not anymore. I promise,"

The two sat there in the throbbing stillness of the house. Malcolm had put a plate of toast out for breakfast, and neither had touched it. He decided it would be best to slowly lull Reese back into eating, and not to force him. A bite a day, the bites hopefully turning into meals. He calmly spread strawberry jam onto the smallest piece of toast, and gently dropped it onto Reese's plate. He then prepared two pieces for himself, watching Reese stare loathingly and lovingly at the calories, the carbs, the fat, the sodium. Reese could see those fickle friends rising upon the crust, he could imagine them sliding down his throat, and he felt foolish for believing they would nourish him. No, they would make him miserable. He shoved the plate away.

Malcolm decided not to say a word. He slid his toast onto his tongue, chewing it satisfyingly. He pretended nothing was wrong, maybe Reese only had an upset stomach, and that's why he was skipping breakfast. The jelly melted between his teeth, and he had to give a goofy grin to Reese, showing him a silly pattern of red and white mess.

Reese laughed softly, and then Dewey came sleepily into the kitchen, his face brightening and awakening at the toast piled on the table. He hopped onto a chair, stuffing five slices into his tiny mouth and then spooning the jelly in after.

"You're so innocent," Reese said after harshly observing him, and Malcolm heard the jealousy in his voice.

"What do you mean? Everyone can eat as much toast as they want," Dewey spoke in confusion through a mouthful of bread and jelly.

"I'm going for a run," Reese pushed himself away from the table, not hearing Malcolm calling after him.

Reese had found a secret place for his obsessive running. There were woods behind the Lucky Aide grocery store, and he would sneak into them, feeling the wet leaves smooth over his skin. It was early in November, and everything was a deep golden shade. The trees had long forgotten their emerald colors, and warmly embraced the caress of autumn. He loved to run there – the smell of the earth would always soothe the terrible hunger he tried day after day to escape. Malcolm would never think to look for him there; he hated the wilderness. Not even the bitch Ana could enter the forest with him. He was deliciously alone.

He had been running for only twenty minutes when he felt it – low in his stomach – that awful cramping. The pit of his belly twisting in hot pain. It was fine, it was always fine. He would stop for five minutes, resting his weary body against a sighing tree. And then he would run again, start the routine back up, and go home to sleep. Reese took incredibly shallow breaths, and the pain only grew worse, swelling to his chest. The woods became thick with darkness, and Reese wondered how night could come so quickly. But it was not night, it was still the pale and crisp morning. His legs betrayed him once more and he collapsed in the middle of the woods, the trees all shattering as they had done in his dream.

* * *

Craig was frantically drumming his hand against the cash register. He only had ten minutes left in his shift, and then he would be able to leave. While he had been helping a customer carry their bags to their car, he had caught sight of Reese going into the woods. He was planning to sneak in after him, but furious that he still had work. After Lois finished ringing up a group of teenage girls buying sodas, she looked over at Craig inquisitively.

"What are you so antsy about?" she asked him with a dull laugh.

"Oh, you know. Shifts almost up. Gotta get home and do some stuff," he nervously tapped at his watch. "Lots of things to do there," he added as the red flesh of his face trembled.

"I'll bet," Lois nodded, thinking of how strange Craig had grown in the past months. She felt sorry for him then, the pity that always came to her when the holidays were nearing. She remembered the frozen turkey in his basket, and decided to give in. "You know, Craig, I was thinking about Thanksgiving, what you said,"

But he cut her off; ignorant of the fact she was about to grant his wish. "I'm done here!" he shouted, and flew out of the glass doors, nearly knocking down an entering family. He left his car in its parking place, and hurried into the forest, the bare branches too frail to cut into his bloated skin. His heavy feet smashed the dead leaves beneath him, and he slapped at bugs that gathered at his sweating neck. The forest did not want him. It knew he was an intruder. He kept stomping his way beneath the shroud of trees until he discovered Reese's limp body, an extraordinary dead leaf in his path, vulnerable and hidden deep in the entanglement of the woods.


	15. Missing

The dark fell softly around the house as Lois, Malcolm, and Dewey sat silently at the kitchen table, waiting for Hal to return. Reese had never came home from his early morning run, and now night had settled in, still with no sign of him. They had hoped he'd gone to the gym, and they were sure the gym owners would have seen where he was headed to next. They were not prepared for the news Hal would finally bring home.

Lois knocked over her chair as she stood, rushing to him as he shut the front door. "Where is Reese?" she clawed at Hal's leather jacket, as if cursing him for not bringing her son home.

Hal sighed heavily as he slid his hands into his pockets. He looked down to the floor, and Lois felt her heart gripped by hands of ice as she saw the fear in his eyes. "They told me he hadn't been there since yesterday," Hal spoke of the gym owners; it was hard for him to tell his wife, the words tangled painfully in his throat.

"Malcolm," Lois flew around, hurrying back to the table where Malcolm and Dewey sat petrified. "Reese didn't tell you at all where he was going?" her eyes were breaking as her hands shook terribly.

"No, mom," Malcolm's voice seemed smothered. "He just said he was going for a run. He usually goes around the neighborhood,"

"We should drive around Lois," Hal spoke, he was still frozen in the living room. "Malcolm and Dewey can wait here, if Reese comes back while we're gone," the sound of Reese's name trembled as it left Hal's mouth.

"Okay," Lois said slowly, wrapping her hands around herself to stop their screaming. "Okay," she stepped wearily out of the house as if she were in a daze.

Hal turned to Malcolm and Dewey, wanting to reassure them that everything would be fine. Desperation passed over his face, the wrinkles in his forehead deepening. He turned away—leaving without a sound.

"I'm scared," Dewey mumbled as he watched the milky headlights shining through the window, and then moving away.

"So am I," Malcolm said lowly, gathering his head in his hands. He was horrified by his mother's reaction. Reese had stayed out late before, and Lois had stomped around the house and bellowed with her usual frustration. Reese had always returned, looking smug as she punished him. But this night Lois was frail and quiet; he had never seen his mother that way. Her eyes were lost and frightened. And Malcolm knew she was worried, worrying Reese had collapsed, that he had succeeded in gradually killing himself. Malcolm slammed his hands on the table at that thought, and Dewey shuddered.

"I'm sorry," Malcolm took his little brother's hand and they went to the couch, noticing there were hardly any crumbs upon the cushions. The television remained off; they sat in a haze of restless silence, starring at their reflections in the glossy black screen.

Twenty minutes into midnight Hal and Lois came home, Reese had still not been found. Lois stood weakly, cradled in Hal's arms. Malcolm felt sick as he caught a glimpse of her face – red and blotched from crying. She was no longer the fierce statue her sons thought her to be.

"I'm going to take your mother to our room, and then I'll be right back," Hal's cheerful voice had been drowned.

Malcolm watched as Hal led Lois down the hall, she would not lift her head to see where she was going, and she stumbled. Hal held her strongly so she would not fall. Malcolm shut his eyes; a nightmare had swallowed his family. He could not believe a real emergency had finally found them. It had been silly and embarrassing before; now it shattered everyone.

"I'm going to file a missing person's report with the police, and then I'm going to call Francis and ask him to come home," Hal had come back into the living room, Malcolm opened his eyes and his father was sitting at his side on the couch, the telephone shaking in his hands.

"Is mom asleep?" Malcolm asked, swallowing the fear in his throat.

"Yes, and you should be too," Hal said sternly, not looking at him, pushing numbers on the phone frantically.

Malcolm walked down the haunted hallway, and the sounds of his mother sobbing disturbed him. He wanted to escape them, to not believe she had been defeated. He shut his bedroom door fast, burying himself into Reese's bed, letting Dewey have theirs. He begged for sleep to take him, to let him dream while Reese wandered home. His brother would be there when he woke, Malcolm was sure of it.

* * *

Reese caught the smell of cat litter, and his nose wrinkled in disgust. He tiredly unpeeled his eyes to find himself enveloped in darkness. As he blinked he could see red lights, they remained even when he closed his eyes, and he smiled. They swam drunkenly in the dark, amusing him. His head throbbed violently and his stomach was utterly withered but he watched the ruby lights and laughed. He didn't know where he was; the forest was a dream to him now. Reese softly flowed in and out of consciousness, when he was awake there were the tiny red fires, and when he fainted back into sleep he dreamed of memories, mostly of him and Malcolm at the water park, and he laughed even in his sleep.

Craig was sitting beside him in the thick shadows, sweating greatly and wondering what to do with this simpering child. He was furious that Reese was laughing. What could be so entertaining in this pitiful house? He wanted to hit the emaciated boy, was Reese snickering at his miserable life? If Craig did decide to strike him, Reese would have crumbled into pale dust. He was so vulnerable in the shroud of black; he was Craig's possession now. And he did not know this; he went on watching his private red lights and dreaming his childhood, laughing and thinking nothing could hurt him.


	16. Found

**I Love You To The Bones**  
**Chapter Sixteen**

The Wilkerson house was missing one of its inhabitants, there was a hollow in each silent room; and in the yard the branches of the sleepy trees drooped with dark gold leaves, sheathing the walkway from view so that there was no path to lead to the doorway. The house had always appeared shabby and dim, but now the mood of the family sprang from the dwelling and was sadly reflected in the fading state of peeling wood and weeping leaves. Reese had been missing for three days. He had vanished, swallowed by the air. Hal had driven to every crook of their city, each bend and abandoned building, the grocery stores and alleys behind schools. Lois seated beside him, eyes bedraggled from staying awake at all hours. She pressed her hand to the chilled glass as they drove, not wanting to admit that all she could see was a fanged, pale blur.

Malcolm returned to school, and Dewey as well. They couldn't upset their mother any deeper or she would melt away. Keeping up with their studies would numb the pain until Reese came back to tease them for being nerds. Malcolm caught himself in his Algebra class sketching Reese's sharp face into his notebook. He stared into the silver, flat eyes and tried to communicate, to ask Reese where had he gone off? _"I'm lost too," _he whispered so that no one would hear. The other students kept their distance, not knowing how to comfort the genius boy, whose brother's school photo was plastered across the news and bulletin boards. Stevie sat with Malcolm at lunch and they gazed into their sandwiches until the bread sagged. It was their mutual, comforting understanding, to keep quiet and not embarrass themselves by admitting their fear.

On Saturday morning, a week after Reese's painful absence, Hal was preparing a cup of coffee for Lois before they set out to search the roads again, and Malcolm sat with her at the kitchen table. His eyes took in hers, the red pearls clung at the corners of her lashes, he thought she would shatter before long, having slept only a few hours since she last saw Reese's face. Hal put the coffee before her and she did not acknowledge it, Malcolm watched the steam rise to the ceiling as Hal attempted not to scream or thrust his fist into the cabinets. The splinter of any furniture would release all of his anxiety and frustrations. Before he could crack his knuckles there was a light rapping at the door. Lois was on her trembling feet so quickly Malcolm thought she had shattered. He and Hal followed her, and Dewey ran out of his bedroom to join them, clutching his slack, ragged teddy bear. Craig was standing on the porch, the foliage garlanded at his feet, and in his fleshy arms he grasped Reese, balancing him at his side like a flaccid doll.

"Oh my god!" Lois cried and tore him from Craig, into her feverish arms, wanting to fasten him there so tightly he would never disappear again. "Where?" she gasped, and dropped to her knees with Reese, for he could not stand anymore, and caressed him.

Craig swallowed; he had prepared his false narration of finding her lost son, and now it was time to foam with his greedy lies. "He was walking down the street near Lucky Aide, I think he had come out of the woods there, trying to find his way home. He's disoriented as hell, Lois, you should let him sleep it off,"

"He can sleep as soon as he tells us what happened," Hal said, and Lois still clutched Reese to her shivering body. Dewey joined their embrace on the floor, but Malcolm stood glaring at Craig, knowing he was lying, that he hid something more sinister underneath his nervous, simple grin. Craig stared back at him, and no one noticed the dark thorns between them.

"Reese? Where have you been? What happened?" Lois begged, raking her fingers through his dirty hair.

"What's the last thing you remember son?" Hal asked in a firmer voice that startled Reese. He was so sensitive that any garish noise cut through what was left of his flesh, and shook the quick of his bones.

"The woods," he mumbled, but it was a lie, he knew he had been taken out of the forest, and he remembered the tiny lights and scent of cat litter, but this seemed too strange to admit. He only wanted to nod off into a tight-fitting sleep.

"Reese, no one hurt you?" Lois examined his bare arms, where the skin was yellow. She bit her lip as she realized she could loop her fingers all the way up and down the length of his bony limbs. Reese shook his head, his arms recoiled from her inspection, their thinness had been detected. "Are you sure?" she pressed him, sensing that something had taken place, because he refused to look at her.

"He's lying, mom," Malcolm suddenly declared, but he was speaking of Craig.

"He just can't remember now," Lois helped Reese to stand.

He struggled to find his legs, somehow they had turned into a fish tail. He moved as though a thick alcohol had streamed into his limbs; his crackling veins, his fragile bones. Every inch of his form drowsed and heavy and thick, he could not drag his body along without faltering—the little drugged prince terrifying the king and queen.

"I'm taking him to the hospital," Hal said. "Malcolm, stay here with Dewey,"

"What did you do to him?" Malcolm asked lowly when Reese and his parents had gone, keeping his teeth clenched.

"I saved that boy's life, why aren't you happy I found him? Your mom and dad sure are, and they'll never believe you," Craig taunted him, the shine of his glasses and the sneer on his portly lips enraged Malcolm.

"They'll believe Reese!" he shouted, a stringy vein pulsing in his neck.

"Oh but, here's the catch. Reese will never tell them because he's too ashamed. He's mine now, and you need to understand that. I can take him whenever I please," Craig grinned, turning to exit the house.

"Bastard!" Malcolm hurled his knotted fist into Craig's nose, the glasses breaking and a rain of shards cut both his flabby nose and Malcolm's fingers. He drew his hand back wincing, the crunch of glass as Craig yelped and dropped the broken frames.

"Get out of here!" Dewey screeched, picking up the glasses and throwing them into the yard. Craig prepared to strike Malcolm, but stood and glowered at them, the tiny dark beads of his eyes glinting with tears.

* * *

In the night, Reese slept heavily as Malcolm sat in bed and stared at him, listening to his parents in the shadowy hall outside the door. He traced his fingers over the glassy flesh, so fine it could be diamond or white marble. Whatever Craig had done, they would find a way to punish him. Softly, he curled up beside Reese's pure, needle-like figure and held him; the scent of a hospital blanket was still fragrant on his skin.

"I'm calling Francis, he'll come home for Thanksgiving and we can all talk about what to do with Reese," Malcolm heard his father say, knowing that his mother was nodding; not wanting to believe her son was anorexic, that she was responsible for his suffering. Malcolm closed his eyes and joined his brother in sleep, their last embracing dream before the silence unraveled and a storm would fluff its thunderous wings.


	17. Silent Undoing

**I Love You to the Bones  
Chapter Seventeen**

The frosts of winter now laced the house with a cold sleepiness, the autumn leaves dead and rust-colored among the walkway leading to the Wilkerson's front door, which hardly ever was opened. Once in the morning the old door creaked as Lois and Hal left for work, and once in the evening it was cracked ajar, the icy darkness slipping into the house when Lois and Hal returned, quickly shut and locked again. Lois had depended on Malcolm to take care of Reese, putting her trust and faith in him as she worked extra shifts to make the money that would pay for his hospitalization. There wasn't a moment Malcolm left his brother's side, whether they watched television or played video games together, or sat in the silence and watched the withering leaves crackle in the grey sky. Reese was eating again, not proper meals as Malcolm wished he would, but small morsels of fruit, tiny gatherings of cereal that softly rested in the center of his palm, never a handful. He ate featherweight, diamond dust, portions smaller than the bloom of a cornflower. But whenever his skin burned with the shame of having consumed too many calories, and when Malcolm was busy with his schoolwork, Reese crept into the bathroom and silently heaved the petite meals from his wasting stomach, admiring the stitching of his ribs in the mirror, dreaming of his next meal.

"Reese, I'm really proud of you," Malcolm said one night across the dinner table, a blush deepening his cheeks. Reese sat before him slicing a blueberry in half, the deep juice staining the tips of his fingers, which he sucked off hungrily. "I think you're doing great. I know you don't want to go into treatment, and maybe you won't have to. Maybe I can help you get over this, maybe we can do it by ourselves,"

"Wouldn't that be nice," Reese showed no interest in listening to Malcolm, focusing his glassy eyes coldly on the damaged blueberry before him.

Malcolm couldn't keep the hurt in his voice from flowing through. "You have to really want this, Reese. I know it's hard, but you can't keep yourself in this apathetic state, you can't say you want to get better and then act like it doesn't matter,"

"You don't know how hard it is!" Reese angrily pushed the plastic bowl of blueberries off of the table, and they scattered across the dirty floor, shards of sapphire gems to sweep away. Reese's eyes seared with fury, he curled his hand so tightly into a fist the lavender veins played beneath his skin like snakes. But as Malcolm's eyes began to tear, he immediately relaxed and hated himself for always taking his anger out on his brother. Malcolm was doing all he could to help him, and Reese hadn't shown him how much it meant. "I'm sorry, Malcolm," he said softly, too ashamed to meet his eyes.

"You're lucky you didn't wake up Dewey," Malcolm laughed quietly. The boys looked at their smallest brother, stretched out on the couch in childish slumber, the television flashing its soundless colors across his eyelids. "If he woke up, we'd have to order him a pizza!"

"Actually, a pizza sounds really great. I'll have lots of pepperoni and meat on mine, and throw in a whole box of breadsticks too, what the hell, get the cheesy stuffed crust! And fifteen large sodas!" Reese deepened his voice as he spoke, sticking out the flat petal of his stomach, smiling as he watched Malcolm's face brighten with laughter, how his cerulean eyes came to life beneath the dim light of the room, how feverish Reese's skin suddenly felt. He remembered the night he had told Malcolm his secret, and remembered when they had made a secret of their own. A beautiful secret to cover the painful one. "Ssh, come here," Reese grabbed Malcolm's hand, and led him back into their bedroom.

"What's going on? I thought you really wanted a pizza," Malcolm giggled stupidly, frowning as Reese shut the door and went to his bed, chilly and soft with moonlight. Malcolm's heart began to pound as he watched his brother peel away his t-shirt, pale bones flooding his eyes. The gauntness of his body half-hidden in the shadow, exposed for mourning, illuminated for wonder. Reese slowly climbed into the bed, resting his head on the pillow and waiting for Malcolm to join him. "But, what if someone…" he began nervously.

"Malcolm, you're making me stronger. I don't know what I would do without you," Reese sighed, pressing his cheek into the smooth pillow. Malcolm laid down beside him, printing his cheek into the same cool softness, staring into the hollow of his brother's eyes. "I love you, Malcolm,"

"I love you, Reese,"

A tiny gasp escaped from Malcolm's throat as he uttered the words to his brother. Reese pressed his lips there hotly and kissed his neck, waiting for Malcolm's response, hoping he would want him, too. Malcolm grazed his fingers along Reese's threadbare stomach, curiously measuring the gaps between his ribs.

"It's okay," Reese whispered, tracing along Malcolm's jaw tenderly, tragically. The brutally cold room was drowned with the heat of their bodies as they kissed finally, lips tangled together awkwardly at first, searching for the pleasure they had found on that night. Reese helped Malcolm to remove his t-shirt, covering his bare chest in a circle of kisses, they laughed manically, hushing themselves as one kissed a bright mouth, sucked a trembling finger, stroked sore, aching limbs.

"Reese, let me," Malcolm pleaded, his voice starved and possessed, but coated with gentleness. "Let me show you," his fingers inched towards the belt wrapped around Reese's waist, hesitating as he searched for a glimmer of fear in his brother's eyes. He wanted to show Reese that he wouldn't hurt him as Craig had done, that he would soothe him where he was sore. Reese shut his glassy eyes and nodded, slowly, thinking only of how much he loved Malcolm. His lips were wetly kissed as Malcolm drew him out of his remaining clothes, and between his legs a warm, eager hand began to stroke and clasp.

"Ohhh," Reese moaned softly, stretching upon the bed and cracking open his eyes, to watch Malcolm as he worked. He licked his parched lips and felt in the darkness for Malcolm's waist, his hand fumbling to open his brother's jeans. Malcolm leaned down towards Reese's open mouth, his hand wrapped tighter, quicker as he kissed the dry lips.

Flustered at first, Reese's fingers stroked and rubbed at the hardness of his brother's cock. Malcolm whimpered into Reese's mouth, encouraging him. They twisted round in the bed until a sweet swirling warmth flowed between their tangled bodies. They cried out into each other's necks as they came together, still remembering they could be caught, hiding their sighs in their bright, blistered skin. Reese sank back into Malcolm's arms and lay curled there helplessly, clinging to him. Malcolm rested his head atop Reese's and pressed his fingers to his back, their breaths desperately ragged and exhausted.

Reese was terrified to tell Malcolm how much he loved him, how much he needed him. In his heart there was the beautiful tremble of adoring him, the shudder of losing him. The haunting shame of being caught with him, how forbidding it was to touch him, but how it burned and tortured to not touch and kiss and love him deeply. But he became aware of the drooping weight of his body, how it sunk into the mattress, how the shadows found his shape and breathed onto it, Malcolm soothingly touching his ribs that were not crystal, only heavy sagging lead.

"Reese, I wish you could see how perfect you are," he heard his brother murmur, which set his skin aflame, his mind screaming how he'd never reach the perfection that Malcolm incessantly bestowed upon him.

"Shut up," Reese said, nearly growling, and Malcolm pulled away, stricken with hurt. "Don't touch me, please,"

"Reese, don't start this again, I'm begging you, I'm sorry..." Malcolm's eyes shined with sea-blue tears, knowing that whatever rapture he found with Reese would always be shattered by his brother's icy, constant moodiness. "Are you mad at me?"

Reese gazed at Malcolm considerably, and sighed as he pressed his face back down into the pillow. "No, but can you get back in your own bed? Mom and Dad will be home soon, wouldn't want to make their plate any fuller by showing them what perverts we are, now would we?"

"We're not…" Malcolm began, his lip curling irritably. With an exasperated sigh he swept his clothes from the floor and fell back into his bed, allowing his head to hit the pillow and pulling the shabby covers up until they dreamily grazed his chin. Unable to fall asleep, his body still burning where Reese had printed his mouth, he turned over to his side to stare at the back of Reese's head, the soft brown hair snowing upon the pillow, continuing to thinly fall out each day, a necklace of delicate arid strands. The beat of his heart dulled as he grew slumberous, his lungs still ached from holding his breath when Reese lashed out at him. He'd never had so much pressure upon his mind before, the torturous weight only seemed to grow and grow, he began to wonder what it would feel like to be consumed, to give himself up, to be as desirous for the suffering as Reese was, hanging between infinite worlds.

* * *

When Reese asked him to go to the store for organic milk, Malcolm had leaped for the chance to make his brother happy, and along the way he processed a method to sweetly deceive him. Reese had never tasted the milk before, so he'd have no flavorful mark on his tongue to sense that he was being fooled. Malcolm planned to empty the carton and pour instead a gallon of vanilla Ensure, which would secretly build the proteins of Reese's body and restore it to a state of health. He'd do it out in the woods where no one could see him, cover the plastic bottle with dirt and never look back. He waited until he knew his mother was on her break, raced down the chilly aisle where cartons and glasses of milk were shelved, got the items he needed and purchased them, they were his to experiment with.

Shivering as he entered the woods, the branches wispy and grey with winter, he settled down into a patch of brittle twigs and leaves and opened up the carton of organic milk, pouring the watery liquid over a pile of blackened leaves and laughing when it splotched onto his shoes. The frozen air smelled smoky and thick, he stopped to breathe it in before opening the bottle of Ensure. Carefully, he spilled it into the milk carton, a ribbon of opaque vanilla, and then pressed the cap back on as tightly as he could, beaming at the work he had done.

"Is someone hiding in the woods and being naughty?"

Malcolm's body was flooded with fear, his limbs shook and clumsily he fell over, taking with him the carton of milk, and he watched as the liquid began to seep out, trickling into the nest of leaves like white blood. He didn't want to believe what was happening, that Craig had followed him into the woods, that he'd been so stupid as to not have looked for him before leaving the store, and now was trapped in such a lonely place with him.

"Sorry about your milk. I thought you were out here jerking off," Craig snickered, neatly stepping across the carpet of leaves; he'd learned to keep quiet when he hunted. "I saw you running through the store, almost called security on you, looked like you were about to steal those two jugs of milk. They for Reese?"

"How dare you ask about him you fucking creep," Malcolm stood up and brushed the leaves from his jacket, his eyes sliding across the trees, looking for a good enough opening to run through.

"I just want to show how much I care, Malcolm, you've got to understand, I didn't mean to hurt Reese, sometimes I, I just can't control myself," Craig's speech grew impatient and nervous, his footsteps over the leaves to where Malcolm stood sloppy and rushed.

"Don't come near me!" Malcolm shouted, eyes now buried in the leaves, hurriedly looking for a stone or beer bottle, anything to defend himself. Craig wouldn't do this again, he would make sure of it. A shrill car alarm suddenly began going off in the parking lot, which was sheathed from view by the woods, only mere inches away. The thick trees and rotten, hanging leaves hid Malcolm from rescue as Craig forcefully tackled him, the back of his head slamming into the hard, wintry earth. There was no way to struggle against him, Craig's body held the weight of a truck, and his fleshly hands pinned Malcolm's fighting arms into the soiled leaves. The car alarm went on blaring in his mind, blacking out the tender, frightening whispers of Craig's voice.

"Now, just enjoy this, like your brother did…" he turned Malcolm over, smothering his face in the damp leaves that smelled of death, and began to fumble as he stripped him of his clothes. Craig's moans were lost in the trees above, lost in the snow that delicately began to fall.

* * *

"Malcolm, what the hell happened to you?" Reese took his brother in his arms and examined the sore cut blooming alongside his cheek, how dirtied his clothes were, the scent of decaying leaves springing from his skin. "Tell me now, what happened?"

"I'm sorry Reese, I didn't get the milk," Malcolm tried to push his brother away, but Reese's strong grasp surprised him, the tiny bones of his fingers cutting away at his arms.

"I don't care about the stupid milk, what happened to you? Did someone do this to you?"

"It was stupid, I fell off my bike, and now I'm going to take a shower," he muttered, but Reese still did not let go of him. "I need to take a shower, okay? The leaves were wet, and I smell revolting,"

"If you fell into the leaves, then why do you have a cut on your face?"

"Reese! Just forget about it, it's embarrassing, I fell off my bike like an idiot and roughed myself up. Now let me go so I can take a shower!" Malcolm writhed free of Reese's grip and tore into the bathroom, slamming the door hard behind him, locking everything and everyone out.

He heard footsteps outside, knowing they belonged to Reese and Dewey. They sat down outside of the bathroom and waited patiently, so Malcolm turned on the water and let the steam fill the room. He then sank onto the cold tile floor and buried his head into his knees, weeping bitterly. His skin burned with disgust, he wanted to cleanly cut it from his bones, to hack away at the sordid flesh until a river of blood painted the floor. He knew he couldn't scream, he couldn't rage around the room breaking things, he couldn't let Reese hear the pain that shrieked and swirled inside of him. He had to find a way to release it in silence. With tears still dripping down his cheeks, he opened the medicine cabinet and took out a dull razorblade. It glimmered as sweetly as a kiss in the palm of his hand. Satisfied, he crept back down to the floor and pressed it to the white skin inside of his wrist, the beat of his heart crawling wildly to deafen his ears. The cut was pinprick thin, a tiny spurt of redness flowed through and dribbled onto the floor, and Malcolm, transfixed, pressed deeper, opening the hole so that whispers seeped out and calmed him, his back arched as the blood decorated his wrist and he relaxed against the cool surface of the tub, the razor clattering to the floor. It had felt so wonderful, so frightfully numbing. He peered down at his red wrist, face caked with dry tears, and sighed, happy for whatever had swooped down and gratified him in that rushing moment. He could open his tormented skin whenever he wanted to forget. A promise. It comforted him. His cheeks grew wet with tears again, lips quivering as he stepped into the shower and washed away the impressions of blood.


	18. Smoky Taboo

I Love You To The Bones  
Chapter Eighteen

Drearily, Reese sat in the blinding white light of his classroom, enmeshed between the slick pale walls and firm shining desks, the scribbles upon the board before him melting into the strict whiteness. Outside the sky was thick and blackened, hammering rain against the bare windows. It was disorienting for him, staring out into the wet blackness while the beads of throbbing white light soaked up his dry skin. Thunder began to drum round the school building; Reese felt it tremble against his slim bones, leaving him dizzy, a fog settling into his mind. He couldn't chase away his thoughts of Malcolm. His brother had been so cold to him since the night he had come home drenched in leaves and dirt, refusing to speak of what had happened, to even let Reese touch him. Reese found himself watching each droplet of rain as it slid against the windowpane, leaving imprints as scratching fingers would. His eyelids were harmed by the light in the room, he wanted to drag himself into the dark rain, to meet Malcolm between the drops of water and listen as he whispered, listen as he told him everything, as the secrets poured between them.

"Reese!" Mr. Newson was sharply at the side of his desk, the jarring voice of his teacher leaving wisps of smoky rain dissolving in the dream. "Dreaming about Ana again, are we?"

"Huh?" Reese's forehead wrinkled in confusion, and then he remembered, how Mr. Newson had snuck up behind him and read the scratchings in his notebook, his vow of starvation. It seemed so long ago that Reese had written it, _I fall upon my knees, and give myself to you…_ it had only been a couple of months, had he fully given himself already?

"I know you think you deserve some special treatment, but the truth is Reese, even though it was a 'family emergency', there is not a valid enough excuse on your attendance form as to explain why you missed an entire week of school. I don't think you should be allowed to skip so many educational days and presume to think you can continue to just 'slide by' and not pay attention in my class,"

Reese looked up hatefully at his teacher, who was in turn looking down at him, with his lip curled in disgust. "I did all of the assignments I was supposed to," he said, thinking of how Malcolm had helped him late into the night, his heart suddenly wrapped with a pang of longing.

"No doubt your brother did them for you. It's sad that you've gotten it in your mind that you can simply coast through life without making any genuine or important achievements, Reese. I think this behavior should be stopped, now, and I think it should be stopped by spending detention with me every day until Thanksgiving break,"

The rain outside grew silent, the stillness of the damp morning air still haunted with grey. The room seemed to blaze brighter.

"Reese, are you even listening to me? How is anyone ever going to get through to someone as thick as you?" Mr. Newson furiously waited for his answer, struck by the dumfounded expression on the boy's ashen face.

There was the word again, thick. _Thick. _Thick skin, thick bones, thick ugliness in between the two. Reese coiled his fists together tightly beneath his desk. He realized there was no dreaming voice in his head, that the torturous voice belonged only to himself. _I am thick. Thick, heavy, opaque, drowning in the layers of skin. Flesh seeping over the chair, folds of fat, pumpkin, pig, hog, whale. In a cage of fat. He's right, I'll never achieve anything. Not even losing this crushing weight. I am a failure. Rooted to the ground by shameful flesh. _He swore blood trickled through his fingers, so strongly his fists were wound. He wanted Malcolm, he wanted his brother.

"Why don't you back off him Mr. Newson, family emergencies are supposed to be private," someone said from the back of the classroom, the voice stinging both Reese and Mr. Newson equally. No one had ever wanted to stick up for him before. Reese kept his eyes squarely upon the white board, where the lights were reflecting and swimming, always growing brighter. His head split with a dull migraine, but he kept on ignoring Mr. Newson, fists still clenched.

"I'll see you after school, and don't even think about skipping your detention," Mr. Newson formed the words in a low voice of grim finality. He eyed the student who had spoken up for Reese disgustedly, and returned to the front of the room to continue his lecture.

By lunchtime the forest of rain had dried out, the drenched sound of teardrops still hanging in the chilly, heavy November air, leaving behind a scent of scorched water. Reese and Malcolm were sitting together out in the quadrant, something they had never, ever done before. The lunch tables had been wiped dry for the students, but dew drops of rain could still be found if one looked hard enough to catch their sparkle. Reese laid his finger across a pearl of water, piercing it with his taut skin, letting it cling to his fingertip before dropping it onto his tongue. Malcolm eyed him curiously but didn't laugh as Reese let out a big show of his thirst being refreshed.

"Why have we never eaten lunch together, Malcolm? I mean, it's weird, we're brothers, at the same school, and we've never sat together, not once…" Reese looked at him sadly, it wasn't like Malcolm to be so quiet, something was always running through his intelligent mind, dying to be passed between his lips and spoken to anyone who'd listen. "Is that mine?" Reese sighed glumly as Malcolm pulled half of a tomato sandwich from a lunch bag. Malcolm nodded, and silently passed it to him.

As Reese picked away the crust slowly, a crow suddenly swooped down to their table, eyeing the sandwich in his thin hand greedily. "Whoa!" Reese whispered, starring into the pitch-black jewels of the bird's eyes. "He must be hungry, he couldn't get any food with all this rain coming down," the bird studied Reese, majestic in its silent movements, inching its diamond-hard, charcoal colored beak closer to the sliver of sandwich. "You want it? You can have it," Reese held the sandwich to the bird, who quickly locked it between his beak, and then fluffed its midnight silk wings, disappearing just as fast as it had perched down at the table.

"Reese!" Malcolm snapped, but his brother only laughed mischievously.

"Well, that settles that. I don't have to eat lunch today!" Reese opened his bottle of water and drank hungrily. "Did you see how he just came right up to us? His eyes were so sharp, he looked even smarter than you," he teased Malcolm gently, who lowered his own injured cerulean eyes.

"You're going to eat something later," Malcolm said lowly. Reese softened, wanting to make Malcolm happy, but as he opened his mouth to brag about his string of detentions Stevie came over to their table, eager to see his friend. "Hey Stevie," Malcolm sighed, not as eager to see him.

"Hey, Malcolm. Hey, Reese," Stevie sensed the disdain spreading between the two of them, and awkwardly fumbled to take something out of his lunch bag. "I saw, that crow, take your sandwich. Thought you might, want this," he held out a bag of Reese's pieces, alarmed to see how Reese turned his nose in disgust. "I've got, to go to, the library. Can't eat them, in there,"

"No thanks, Stevie," Reese wanted to snatch the bag of candy away, tear it open with his teeth and saturate his mouth with chocolate, he knew it'd taste so delicious it would cut his tongue clean down the middle. He'd lick each piece lovingly before devouring it. And he was infuriated with himself for wanting to delve into such a weakness. The candy would congeal to his bones, clot, thicken, fatten him up. It wouldn't be worth the sweetness of taste, their flavor was an illusion, the calories they held were death.

"But, you use to, beat me up for these!" Stevie was astounded, looking to Malcolm as witness.

"They're my pieces, they've got my name on them," Malcolm mused to himself, smiling as he remembered Reese from school days before, when his brother was vibrant, a bright streak of force and life.

"I don't want them, okay? Just eat them later if they don't allow them in the library," Reese watched Stevie as he wheeled away, taking the candy with him. He grunted with disgust and tried to keep his mind off of the hunger that pricked and sang beneath his groaning ribs. "Hey, what do you say we skip the rest of today? That jackass Mr. Newson gave me detention, but there's no way in hell I'm going. We can go to the video game store, just kill what's left of the day there,"

"I can't skip Reese; I've got a test in Mr. Huckabee's class today," Malcolm kept his eyes lowered to the table, cheeks filling with a deep blush when Reese began to taunt him.

"Ooh, goody-goody Malcolm doesn't want to skip! He couldn't possibly miss this test because it's so important, and goody-goody Malcolm always does what is expected of him!" Reese's long fingers then curled round his brother's hand, clutching it tenderly. "I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean it," he stroked Malcolm's hand, thin fingers inching too close to his wrist, scraping against the opening of his long sleeve. Malcolm shuddered and pulled his trembling hand away.

"People are starting to stare," he mumbled, pulling his sleeve down, covering what he could not bear for Reese to discover.

Reese passed his hard eyes over the surrounding tables, the tangled, dissonant babble of the other tedious students annoying him like always. "Fucking let them stare," he snarled, and then grinned to his brother. "I'll see you at home," he stood slowly from the table, Malcolm had told him it would be better to not jump so briskly away from relaxed positions, for it would make him lightheaded and put him in danger of collapsing. His heart wrenched with pain as he gazed after Reese, movements threaded so slowly through the crowds. Trembling still in his hand, Malcolm encircled his fingers round his wrist, secretly moving them across the fragment of flesh sewing itself back together. The scar was thin, brittle-feeling, exciting. He closed his eyes and focused on peeling it back, and when he opened them again, Reese had gone from the courtyard, leaving him alone with his solemn skin whispering after.

* * *

"Reese! Mr. Newson nearly followed me home, he was really angry that you skipped his detention. He's saying he's going to have you expelled…" Malcolm almost threw his book bag across the couch until he spied his brother sleeping there, long limbs draped over the crumb-plastered cushions.

"He just fell asleep, don't wake him up," Francis spoke from the kitchen, and Malcolm whirled around excitedly, feeling like a child again to see his oldest brother visiting. He only wished things were still the way they used to be.

"Hey Francis," Malcolm felt stupid suddenly, hoping the babyish shine in his eyes had faded. He slid coolly into a chair across from him at the table, pinching at his sleeve to make sure it was drawn securely over his wrist.

"What's been going on, Malcolm? Dad told me it would be strange, but Reese looks like he's been dragged from the trenches at a concentration camp," he knitted his brow together hopelessly. "And you," he looked Malcolm over, sensing something uneasy lurking in his mind. "I know I've been gone a long time, but you know you guys could always call me, hell, even visit if something's bothering you, that you can't talk about with mom or dad,"

"Francis, it's… everything has been so," Malcolm couldn't even form the words to describe the suffering that had consumed Reese, and he wouldn't dare recite his own suffering.

Lois came home from work then, the circles underneath her eyes deepened and as large as rotten plums. She looked helplessly at Reese who slumbered, strewn weakly across the couch, bones reflecting the cold sunlight that slipped through the crack of the curtains. She noticed Malcolm and Francis in the kitchen and went to them, joining them at the table and releasing the stress from her limbs with a dejected sigh.

"Hey Mom," Francis said nervously; he'd never seen her crumpled and desolate like this, of all the awful things he had done, he had never managed to break her like this, like a doll snapped down the middle. He was hesitant to touch her hand, frightened her misery would leak into him and spread like disease.

"Did you see him?" Lois' voice cracked softly, she folded her hands and rested her mouth against her cupped fingers. "I just don't know what to do,"

"Mom, Reese is going to be okay, I think he's getting better,"

"Oh what do you know, Malcolm? This is something real, something that's going to kill him. It isn't a science experiment, you aren't going to get a grade for curing him," Lois pushed away from the table and took off to the bedroom, slamming the door as bitterly as her words had stung Malcolm.

"Don't worry, Malcolm, I'm going to help," Francis was unsure of what to say, embarrassed as he sat and watched the tears welling up in his brother's broken, glassy eyes. "You know Reese, this is probably some joke of his, he's just fooling us all, like he always does, it probably makes him laugh, he's probably trying to see who worries about him most…"

"No, Francis, it's not like that," Malcolm shut his eyes, turning away as the tears pooled over and dripped unsteadily down his face. "I'm going to my room,"

"Oh, I wanted to let you know, I'm going to be staying with you and Reese and Dewey for a couple of nights. Is it all right if Dewey and I share a bed? He's the smallest, so there will be extra room for me. Hope it won't be a problem," Francis didn't want to say he was terrified at the idea of sleeping with Reese, of accidentally feeling those skeletal limbs scrape against him. Terrified of sleeping with a corpse.

"It's okay," Malcolm said without putting up a fight. Francis frowned at him, puzzled for a moment. What else had been going on between his brothers while he'd been away? He couldn't ignore the fact that Malcolm's tears had stopped flowing, that he dreamily wandered off into their bedroom, expecting happily the night.

Francis decided to go out with friends for the evening, planning to stay away until dawn. Dewey cheerfully settled into the bed that belonged only to him for the night, stretching his arms and legs gloriously and then curling on his side to watch his brothers settle down together. They were peculiarly happy about sharing Reese's bed. Dewey couldn't understand the light that filled their eyes as they said goodnight, but it made him smile to see that his brothers were content, radiating with strength. He didn't want to admit he missed sharing the bed with Malcolm, but he still felt protected as long as his brothers were together, beside him in the dark.

Malcolm pressed his half-open mouth to Reese's neck, a sleepy sigh escaping against the winter-painted skin. Reese, with lungs flaking, did the same to Malcolm. Their lips raked across the other's silently. Reese could find Malcolm's lyrical eyes even in the dark. They clasped hands, lowering their lashes as they fell asleep curled together, legs twined like crystal vines through the sheets. Bad blood running quietly in their veins. Safe and sound.


End file.
